GrEtA vAn FlEeT oN cRaCk

Jakelyn

You've been depressed for a while now, just life being the bitch it is but add to that the fact that your boyfriend, Jacob Thomas Kiszka, had a huge fight with you because of your depression. You know that he tried so hard to make you happy but your depression was like nuh uh bitch I want more until it got Jakey himself bitchin'. You can't really blame his frustration but the way he took his anger out on you and how he said he never wants to see you again made him no longer Jakey, just Jacob.
And so you try to distract yourself from your depression aimlessly by binge eating and going through YouTube, until you heard your doorbell ring, you had your sister here with you so you kept on watching, you didn't wanna see anyone in this state anyways, people would think that there's a zombie apocalypse seeing you at this point.
You hear some talking but you can no longer find any fucks to give, you keep on watching Pewdiepie's MEME👏🏼REVIEW👏🏼 nevertheless, until somebody slams your door and goes like
"What's up hot stu-
Damn, my hot stuff got cold and messy, the bitchin' impact I guess. *shrugs*"
You look for whatever disrupted your quality meme time and girl, you shook af, you can't even believe your own eyes, seeing your bo- ex boyfriend *internal eye roll* with his hair tied up messily with a few strands falling, wearing some sexy ass red lingerie, with red nails, full make up and some long ass heels, standing in this oh so seductive way leaning on your door frame. Is this a dream? Did Jake get possessed by a prostitute? What is life?
"Please tell me I'm dreaming..."
"What? You don't like ya girl Jakelyn?" He says in a high pitched voice and tries to walk seductively towards you but he ends up falling because of the heels...
"FUCK! I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW YA GIRLS WEAR THESE THINGS I WANT MY CHELSEA BOOTS BACK!"
And for the first time in you don't know how long, you laugh so hard.
"Yayyyyyyy glad I got that laugh out of you, can I get back to being jake now?"
"The only thing I'll do is spare you from the heels, I like Jakelyn more lol."
"Okay, fair enough. So what do you think we should do now?" He says oh so enchantingly in an extremely high pitched voice while seductively attempting to take off his heels, and walk towards you to sit on your lap.
"Hmmmmm, let me think...."
You suddenly see Jakelyn change her face, like she's about to throw up
"What's wrong Jakelyn? Just know if you wanna throw up, you can do it anywhere but not my room or my face okay?"
"Nooooothiiiiiiiiing and yeah sure I know haha.... ya know...." and he pats your shoulder in this weird way, dafuq?....
And so you and Jakelyn keep talking for a while and you can't take her seriously, seeing your ex dressed up like that is something rarer than him not bitchin', and as much as you hate to admit it, you enjoyed your time with him more than ever!
"Jakelyn as much as I like you..." Jakelyn looks at you in confusion until you push her off your lap "MY THIGHS BECAME SO NUMB I CANT FEEL THEM THEREEEEERE!"
"Bitch at least I'm spared from your nasty ass smell, when was the last time you showered or washed your teeth?! *gags*" And back to bitchin' Jake... he's right though, yet I won't show that he's right, hehe. You fake being hurt, clutching your heart, saying "HOW DARE YOU JAKELYN?! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!"
"I'm sorry hun but I have something important to reveal...."
He grabs some wipes from somewhere and wipes the make up and you pretend to faint, when he was about to take his clothes off you close your eyes and turn your face away saying "NOOOOOOO WE GET IT YOU'RE BITCHIN' JAKE WE BEEN KNEW NOW CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES SOMEWHERE ELSE!"
You find jake with puppy eyes saying "But..."
"But what?..."
"AHAHAHAHAHA CAN I HAVE YOUR BABIES?!"
"..... just go dress up somewhere else jake." you say while trying to stifle your laughing.
When he left you find your sis sneaking in saying "bitch I know how much you love him and how hurt you are but he didn't mean what he said, and you were so out of it and honestly I got tired of hearing Pewdiepie 24/7-"
"HOW DARE YOU INSULT MA POODIE?!?!?!?! THAT'S A BIG OOPSIE YOU WENT TOO FAR! You're no longer a sister of mine..."
"Yeah I didn't ask for a drama queen for a sister and yet here we are, anyways, he loves you girl, and him going that far to cheer you up and have you back is something I'd die for, and by the way, I got all that on camera. *wink*"
"YOU'RE THE BEST SISTER EVER ILL LET YOUR BIG OOPSIE SLIDE ONLY THIS ONCE I LOVE YOU BITCH" and you pounce on your sister and hug her like crazy...
"You know that incest is illegal and gross right? That's real life, not game of thrones..." Jake cuts your sisterly moment in an oh so subtle way, the jake you know with his hat and chelsea boots and all that came back now....
"Hahaha I'm dying from laughter help..." you say it in the most monotonous way possible.
"Yeah, I know! Anyways, I need to talk to you now...."
And you saw your sister leave and you wanted to hold onto her feet like your life depended on it but there are somethings you can't escape...
"What now Jake? You murdered Jakelyn in cold blood, I want her back..." you say, pouting.
"Yeah with wipes and changing clothes, how cruel... In all seriousness now, I want you back girl, I'm really sorry I said these cruel things but seeing you in this crazy state got me crazy myself and I lost control, it doesn't justify what I did though, I know it's wrong, but having your sister telling me how you were suffering because of me, and seeing you in this state.... I can't handle the fact that I caused this, that I hurt you when I promised you not to, please ha-"
"Bitch, stop, you turned into some sappy ass bitch and I'm not used to it, but yeah, I get what you mean..."
"So? What do you say?"
"If whenever you fight you'd bring Jakelyn back then HELL YES! Okay, I'm serious now, yes I'd have you back hehe."
"...... Come over here you dumbass!" He says smiling and pulling you into this killer ass bear hug. While you lost yourself in that hug that bitch goes like
"You still need to shower by the way, just sayin'"
"More like, just bitchin'" you say, giving him a death stare and hitting him on the chest but you comply because, yes you hate showering, but once you go in there there's no coming out and you wanna make him pay anyways, I'm a genius! *high fiving yourself*

*one eternity later*

"Damn, I've just had the best. shower. everrrrrrrr"
You find Jake's eyes closed, looking like the cute ass he is, peaceful him is something you live for, no bitchin' jakey, just jakey saying hilarious shit while sleep talking and you always record that shit for entertainment purposes.
"WE NEED TO KILL THESE EVIL FLOWERS THEYRE GONNA END HUMANITY! *pause* WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE'RE OUT OF AMMO?! I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW WE'RE RELATED UGH!"
You brush your hair while smiling in amusement and when you're done you pounce on Jakey
"AAAAAAAAH GET AWAY FROM  ME YOU VISCIOUS FLO- oh, it's you..."
"So much for flower power am I right?"
"Haha very funny..."
"Just shut up and let's sleep."
And with that, you sleep content, hugging your pillow that he always gets jealous of but he doesn't give up, he spoons you from behind saying good night love and you contain your gushing cuz ugh he's just too cute man you feel so lucky and special!!!!