Forever Muted

Forever Muted chapter 1

I listened to her gagging into the toilet, I held the door shut and held her heavy handbag for her. Emily Chambers one of the most popular girls in school just confessed to being anorexic, not that I was surprised she's stick thin already. She told me that she wanted to be like Rachael Donathan the queen (and bitch) of the school, she also told me she comes in here every break just to throw up what ever she's had to eat.

 I found it dreadful to hear but I've heard worse. I know everything about everyone in this school, like I know Daniel Merriweather the captain of the football team hooked up with Miss Whiffen the history supply teacher last year, I know that Florence Nester, the school newspaper's writer got an abortion and tells everyone she lost the baby. I know that William Sander, the school's smart ass had sex with his step sister. James Dawson is secretly gay, Keith Robinson can't tell the time, Suzie Merge killed her hamster by 'accidentally' sitting on it, Hayley Duncan cheated on her boyfriend, George Cliffton's obsessed with blood and they are not even half of the secrets I know.

I'm Gemma by the way, Gemma Starling, Im sixteen, I guess you think I'm normal, but the thing is I don't talk, not to anyone. I have counselling, they're always trying to make me talk, just to get a mumble from me would be a score but they get nothing. I can't even talk to my Mum. Don't get me wrong, I didn't used to be like this, I haven't been on mute all my life, it all started when I was 10, my little brother Matthew died in a car accident, me my Mum and him crashed into a lorry, I didn't let him get in the front seat, if i'd have just let him get in the front seat before we set off he wouldn't have died, I would. The lorry hit the back of the car and Matt died instantly from the shock. I wish so badly that it was me in that car crash.

I heard the toilet flush then, out came Emily, her lipstick smudged and her hair in her face, she walked over to the mirror and did over her make-up, swiping her long blonde hair from her bony face and turning towards me.

 ''Thanks mousy.'' She said. Her mouth curved into a smile before she walked out from the girl's toilets. People tend to call me mousy a lot, all thanks to Howard, in year 9 he kept asking me questions and when I wouldn't answer he started calling me mousy, now it's kind of grown on everyone but me.

I let out a long careless sighed and leaned over the sink facing the fogged up mirror, I looked normal, just an average girl, not pretty not ugly, not fat and not thin I was just average. Boring.

I stared into my dull brown eyes and tried to find something different about myself, there was nothing, I was just like most 16 year old girl's, you wouldn't spot me in a crowd I'd look too similar to everyone else, the only thing that was different about me was I won't talk.

My short chestnut brown hair fell around my pale face. Just then the bathroom door opened again a couple of year 7's came through giggling and whispering with each other. I wish I was like them. I smiled and walked out of the door, pulling my bag further onto my shoulder.

''Hey mousy.'' Carl's voice whispered into my ear.

 I turned to find him stood there his hand fell into mine. Carl was like a stalker, he always wanted to know about me but I never told him a thing, he tried to get me to kiss him but I knew that was for a joke just so he could go along to tell his friends he kissed the girl who never talks. That's what I was, some kind of circus freak, I was a show.

I pulled my hand from Carl's grip and began to walk quickly down the hallway, pushing past the so called 'popular' ones. Carl kept following me, I skipped round the corner and ran outside, I was sick of school. No one would even notice if I left right now, so that's what I'll do. I grinned as I got out of the school gate.

I ran down the road, feeling my bag thump against my back. I got round the corner to my house and began to walk up my drive when I heard a loud familiar sound, I turned to see the same motorbike I love to see everyday. Jason's bike screeched as he parked up next to the sidewalk, he got off from his motorbike and pulled off his helmet revealing his gorgeous striking black hair that fell over his forehead perfectly. His crystal blue eyes shone out and the sun reflected on his flawless skin. I looked over him, he was wearing his army gear. Jason Barnes is my next door neighbour, I've actually never spoke to him, my Mum has though, he's in the army and he's 21, he's absolutely gorgeous, more than gorgeous, he looks perfect. My Mum says he's really sweet but I've heard from other neighbours that he's done some really bad stuff in his past. He shoved his helmet onto his bike and turned and spotted me looking at him, I didn't move I just stood there, staring.

''Something you like?'' He asked, his eyes glistening.

My eyes wouldn't move themselves from his, he was just so beautiful. I let my eyes travel down his body, noticing he was lighting a cigarette, he sat on his wall and blew from the cancer stick, puffs of smoke blowing into the air. He laughed and jumped off his wall, walking up to the gate parting our garden, he leaned against it and smiled, his  glowing white teeth showing.

''Want some?'' He asked, handing me the cigarette I shook my head signalling no and walked into my house without even a goodbye.