Journey to the Centre of my Heart

Chapter 3

A year after Liam's death, everybody seemed back to normal, apart from Mrs James. My brother Craig and his girlfriend Lydia started to visit more after they found out about what I had been up to. They hadn't really made an effort, for the past three years. Craig and mom had an argument on his last visit, and until this day I'm not sure what is was over. Craig and Lydia came every other weekend from then on. The first few visits were strained. There was so much to say, but nobody knew how to start the conversation. After the third or fourth visit conversation seemed to flow easier, between all of us.

Craig was ten years older than me and we had different dads. His dad had run off with his twenty-four year old girlfriend when Craig was three, and mum had moved on to a few other men before falling madly in love with my father. I don't really remember him, because he died when I was five. Craig was fifteen, and he counted my dad as his own - and he never got over it. He moved out two years later, to live with Lydia and her parents. I took it personally at first, but a few years later I found pictures of my dad and realised why he couldn't be around me as much. I was the spitting image of him, and it must have been hard for him to look at me everyday. It was like Mrs James, and how she felt towards Sam.

After me and Sam were caught, it was awkward between us at first. For the last three or four months, whenever we saw each other we had been high or drunk, and we didn't have to say anything. We had no idea what we had done with each other, and other people, but to be honest I'd rather not know. I vaguely remember us hooking up a few times, but I didn't want to think about it, he was Sam - my best friend. We were so out of it those few months that it could have been with anyone. It probably was. From what I remember, we both got together with a LOT of people. I wouldn't even want to know the total number, but I know it would have been triple digits. I felt disgusted in myself. I was hoping Sam wouldn't of noticed, but of course he did, and we had to talk about it.

After a week or so, we were back to being us again, before Liam died. It was easy, and we were happy just watching a movie, or going to the park. We didn't need to do anything extravagant, just so long as we were together.

Craig had never really gotten on with Liam and Sam. He thought Liam was silly for hanging out with us so long, although he never said it to his face. I don't really remember playing with Craig, because he was so much older than me. We were closer as we got older, but he left before I was seven. When he came back though, for that weekend we got really close.

A week before my sixteenth birthday Craig told me I was going to be an auntie. I was thrilled. Craig and Lydia were meant to be together, and they would make a wonderful family. A month after that, I found out that I was going to have a niece.

I never had the change to meet her though, because Mum, Craig, Lydia and her unborn child all died.

The fire started small, and Craig was trying to put it out with the fire extinguisher. I went over to the closet under the stairs, looking for the bigger one. It's weird to think that while I was searching I was cursing Craig in my head for being such a rubbish cook. I went back into the kitchen and the flames were licking at the ceiling. I couldn't find Craig anywhere, so I tried to make my brain spring into action, but it wouldn't. I couldn't think of what I should do. I started to get hazy from the smoke that was filling my lungs. I heard creaking upstairs, and turned to look that way. By the time I turned around, I saw the flames had rose and spread even further, and was now dangerously close to me. I didn't know mum and Lydia were asleep upstairs, so I couldn't even warn them.