“You know,” said Ryan to James “I think… I think she might be that girl”
James raised an eyebrow at his friend placing a cup of coffee against his cold lips. He tried to ignore that uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.
“You mean…?”
“I think she might be the one that I would actually go all sappy for. You know the whole ‘do anything for’ thing everyone talks about.” Ryan was staring out the cafe window with a dreamy look in his eyes, making James want to shake him. Shake him hard.
“I don’t ‘know’. And by ‘everyone’ you obviously mean teenage girls.” James chuckled. It sounded forced, but the other guy was too far lost in his own world to notice the slight painful edge to it.
“You’re an asshole.” Ryan took a quick playful glance at his friend as his lips formed a soft smile “You just don’t understand yet. One day you will meet someone who will take your breath away and then it will all make sense.”
“Take my breath away? Wait, so you’re saying she needs a shower?” James allowed himself an evil smirk but soon hid it behind a scarf. He wasn’t in a mood to be hit today. Or maybe he was, but this was not a place for that.
“God, James. I’m trying to have a serious conversation here.” Ryan threw him an annoyed look, which usually meant that James had reached the boundary of his patience.
“Sorry.” James murmured quietly.
A short silence followed after that. James felt his friend’s mood sink just a bit, but it was more than enough to make him feel guilty.
“So… What is it about her?” He said, hesitantly encouraging Ryan to tell him more.
Ryan sighed and his gaze lost focus once again. He missed the hesitance in James’ voice.
“I just… It’s kind of like she’s perfect. I can’t find a single thing I don’t like. She is everything I could ever want and more. I feel devastated just thinking that she might not feel the same way…”
“You haven’t told her yet?”James eyes stared intently at Ryan’s face, as if examining even the slightest emotion to pass in his features
“That’s just it” Ryan’s eyebrows knitted together and a look of sheer worry took a place “She has no idea I think of her like that”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“I’m happy to be her friend for now. I like her too much to ruin this. Even if that means staying friends with her forever, I just can’t risk losing her.” Ryan frowned.
“Well, that seems to suck.” James replied and something between sadness and amusement flashed in his eyes.
“Tell me about it” Ryan groaned and buried his head in his arms.
James could have. James could have told Ryan everything about it.
“Sorry” He said instead.
“Yeah” Came Ryan’s muffled reply.
James lost himself in a peaceful moment of silence that took place after that. While he felt sad and was far from happy about his friend having problems, it was at times like this that he felt closer to Ryan than ever. Ryan did not open up to people easy and James knew it, therefore he inevitably felt important and needed after seeing him like that, with his vulnerable side showing. James liked that feeling. It was his way of being a part of Ryan’s life. It always came as a huge relief from the usual loneliness.
