You Can Try to Mend My Broken Heart

Prologue

We were meant to be,

But you lost it all

When you went to her.

You had my heart...

Everything we had is lost

You can talk about love

But I never knew

That it could take your breath away

You took my breath away

You took my heart

And it's left there beating

In your murderous hands

What we believed in

Was nothing at all

Only an illusion...

You will be the last

Give me my heart back!

I will fix it....

-Emmeline Lee Starr (Idreamofmemory)

Prologue

Where do I begin? I was young and blindly in love and left broken hearted...No...

Let me begin at the start of my story. I want people to know how young and stupid...No.

It was my grade ten year in high school; I had no intention of finding love. The idea of love had no interest in me except what you read in books which I would devour often. What was love to me? But a silly little dream. I can't say I was stupid but I was young and in love, he meant everything to me. We were best friends. Jake was his name.

He was sweet, funny, and charming. The thing I miss about him the most is his hugs, his voice, him. How did I fall for him? I don't even know. Sometimes I tell myself that if someone feels something for you, you feel it in the air. It like a sort of tension is being felt.

I remember the day I fell for him. It was clear by the touch...he took my hand only for a minute. Is it odd that I still remember...But he was my first love how could I forget? The feeling seems to haunt you like a plaguing regret. The way we stood there in the hallway, everyone around us going by but ever so slow. In that moment....in that sleight moment our friendship changed to feelings... Feelings I would learn to regret.

I remember loving him... but at the same time denying how I felt. I was scared...My friendship to him meant everything. I knew he shared the same feelings as I did. I could tell whenever I looked at him or when he reached out to me and embrace me with his deep hug. I knew that by the end of grade ten we had become somewhat clear as to how we felt. Words were never spoken. Actions said it all.

My friend Megan once told me how people always thought how Jake and I was a couple but we both blushed and laughed it off.

Grade eleven had started and the summer had seemed too had made our feelings for each other stronger, maybe from sickness of missing each other. Sadly for me I had a secret... denying his love was a part of it. Everything seemed to be going well at first.

Then news arrived. "Hey guess what?" Sam spoke out...

"What?" I asked raising an eye brow to him.

"You got competition.... And she is here in this school. Some grade niner."

I looked at Sam. I don't remember if I was shocked but I do remember asking him who?

Sam laughed at me. "She is this chick that completely in love with him. Her name is Kendra."

He went on to explain about her. I was not afraid of losing him at the time but I knew I had to let go. I got word from an old friend that use to be part of Wessington high. She told me how he wanted to ask me out. I told her to tell him no. I again pushed him away but at the same time was pushing him closer. I loved him so I had to let him go. I knew at the bottom of my heart that if I held on I would hurt us both.

October came and my grade eleven year turned to hell! Drama had erupted and the fight for him was on. I knew I had him so I did not fight back but at the same time wanting to push him away...to protect him... and somehow maybe something selfish on my part. I started to show less emotion to do things that was not me. I played with his mind and in the end I promised myself I would never to that to another living soul. Not if loved them so.

I was to go away that month. I did not want too. Not when everything was wrong... I met someone... his name was Zane but I was still thinking of him. I became friends with Zane but latter the friendship would have been lost and I rather save that story for another time. Another denied love. I missed him so much but soon I would regret it.

I remember coming back to the hell hole! The drama began again. I remember see something on facebook on her stupid page... "I will go to the end of the world..." blah, blah, blah I'll die if I don't have you. That when it hit me I was jealous, I never once in my life felt jealousy before. I did not know how to react so I closed myself up even more. Then I ruined it all, I joked to a friend since he was talking to him...I was afraid to talk to Jake. He joked to him 'Star went on a date with someone.' He got mad and jealous. It was funny because anyone who would be around me he would protect me and he would get jealous. I know what you're thinking this guy is possessive. Yes he was but not in the sense that you are thinking, more in the cute joking way. I loved him because of it, I felt safe with him. Well anyway stupid, idiot Sam forgot to tell Jake that it was a joke. I would never go on a date with someone especially on how I felt about him. In a sense I knew that I had finally driven him away.

The week after his return I had not only had hear the news but also see it. He was with her. Kendra. The look in her eyes.... I felt defeated, broken and hollow. I did the only thing I knew how. I swallowed my emotions and kept silent. I glared at him, I hated him. He took my heart but this is what I wanted was it not? Why was I so angry? It was because I truly loved him and I always would. I was afraid to speak; I knew if I spoke I would scream.

That was five years ago. I had some run into Jake from time to time. I still never spoke a word. My silence I swore to give him, it was enough he had my heart. My best friend once told me that he would watch me and when she leaned in to give him a hug he would squeeze harder. "It was weird. It was as if he wanted to hug you but because he could not he would practically hug the life out of me. He would ask for you, you know?" I looked at my friend incredulously. "Why?"She looked at me thinking. "Not literally but with his eyes. He wanted to know if you were okay." I glared at her. He had no right to ask about me...no reason. Not even with his eyes. He was with her... I turned away from my friend Megan. "Oh" I winced...I hated him. I hated him for caring so much. I hated him to this day saying I was an amazing person. I did not want him to care. I was a poison to myself and anyone who dare try to get close to me or even anyone who tried to defy me.

Wait I lied I did speak to him once or twice, I don't remember, it was after I said I was over it all. Which I was, it was so long ago but still I did not want anything to do with him. Beside he was a mess up then. Used, thrown and used again. I know what I want in my life and he was not it anymore.

I'm going to take a step forward. This step is going to land me in the future.

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Okay everyone chaper 1 is coming in the next day or so

I just wanted to give a little taste and I could not wait

Also check out my other tory Chasing Stars that will recieve an Update soon as well.

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