12 Months (Tom Holland)

April

      Despite what happened between Tom and I during spring break, I still took the offer with Yasmine to help tutor him during the auditions. I never told her or Harrison what happened on the balcony; I feared what they would've done or how they would've reacted. Tom and I were in shambles but I didn't need the rest of the group to be.

    Mr. Chen informed us that we'd only be missing a week and a half of school, so two weeks before we had to leave we would be given our assignments and placed in independent study. To also ease an anxiety of mine, I was told that I would make it back in time for graduation practice. Tom was in the office as well, having to be "introduced" to us even though we were selected because of our relationship to him. Mr. Chen turned to him and asked, "Do you approve, Mr. Holland? If you don't agree with our tutoring solution we can find other ways to maintain your education." "It's a good idea, Mr. Chen, thank you," Tom said, "These two have helped me multiple times throughout the year, anyway. You put me in good hands."

    It was the nicest thing Tom had said about me in weeks. It almost gave me hope of rekindling what we had until I realized he was just putting up a front for Mr. Chen and that once we were dismissed he would tell me to back off the auditions. As if on cue, Mr. Chen dismissed us and we were scattered amongst the hallways. "Hey, Kennedy," I heard Tom say and as much as I wanted to keep walking away, I realized we were going to the same class, so it would be useless to ignore him now.

    I turned around and faced him, unsure of what insults he would spit at me now. I missed him severely, his absence like a gaping wound in my heart. I wanted to tell him everything he had missed over the past few months, how I got into college, bought an apartment off campus, how I found a very limited edition of a Spider-Man comic. I wanted to tell him the biggest and the tiniest things in my life, but I couldn't. Because I am a fucker upper.

    "What time does your meet start? We all thought about going to support you," the words that came out of his mouth completely blew me away. Where was the Tom from Valentine's Day? From spring break? Where was this vile, brokenhearted creature that was of my creation? Of course I shouldn't expect him to still fall to his feet, begging for my attention- I never wanted that anyway. But from the months of us not being on good terms with one another, it was quite the plot twist.

    "You mean just Harrison and Yasmine, right?" I tried to make it a joke but it came out bitchy and I cringed. He shook his head, "No, I'll be there too." "Tom, you can't be serious," I said, bewildered, "We haven't been best buds in months and suddenly you're going to come to my track meet? Why the change of heart?" His face fell and he placed his hand out in front of me as a gesture for me to put my hand in. I did so willingly and he led to a staff bathroom, closing and locking the door.

    "I shouldn't have left you on the balcony like that, Kennedy, that was such an awful thing for me to do," he started spilling his guts and he wouldn't stop, "I'm so sorry for the way I've been acting these few months and treating you like shit and I'm sorry I missed your birthday, your mum's birthday and everything that's been happening in your life, Kenn-"

    "Tom, stop apologizing!" I exclaimed and he shut up. "You have nothing to say sorry for. Your words held truth to them; you were hurt and I understood. I hurt you badly and it got worse because I was the one who ignored you first. I treated you like shit. You don't need to apologize. You don't even need to fucking forgive me, I just need you to know that I'm the one who should be sorry and I am so fucking sorry, Tom," I started choking over my words as tears spilled out.

    "I'm so fucking sorry that I abandoned our friendship like that. I never ever wanted to hurt you. You deserved so much better than that, Tom. I should've just stayed in bed o-or left you a note. I should've been better, Tom. You deserve better," I sat down on the floor and tried to wipe my tears away, but they kept pouring out. Tom squatted down to his knees and placed his thumb on my cheek, reminding me of New Year's Eve. He brushed my tears away and then pulled me into his embrace, trying to calm me down as I kept crying. Unbeknownst to me, he was crying as well; I never noticed until I felt a teardrop fall on my shoulder.

    We stayed in the bathroom until we heard the bell ring. He looked down at me and asked, "Do you want to skip the rest of today?" I nodded and stood up, wiping away my tears and fixing my appearance in the mirror. We left the bathroom at the same time, garnering some strange looks from oncoming students, but no one questioned anything. We then left the school from of the side doors and Tom took my keys, insisting that he would drive.

    He drove us to Shake Shack and we found a booth in the back of the restaurant next to a window that displayed a lot of sunlight so it was always warm. We ordered our food and drinks and once the waiter left, Tom spoke, "So what's up?" However, I couldn't keep the nonchalance that he had, I couldn't bring myself to. "Why now?" I asked him, my voice a little hoarse from the sobfest. "What do you mean?" he shrugged, "What about you, Kennedy? Why are you just apologizing now?"

    "I didn't know how to explain to you why I left, but when the time came, it was too late," I looked out the window and watched as people entered and exited the restaurant. The sunlight was beginning to put me in a haze, but this was too important of a conversation to miss.  "Are you still able to tell me why, or has that time window flown out the door?" Tom asked me the same time our waiter gave us our milkshakes.

     I took a sip of mine and relished the coldness slapping me back to reality. "I was afraid. Of what? I don't know. A million things. Zero things. I was afraid that I was a drunken mistake. I was afraid you didn't love me the way I loved you. I was afraid of losing what we had, but seeing us now, I guess that fear came true," I couldn't even look in his eyes. Why was this so much more painful than the whole avoiding thing?

    Tom grabbed my hand and held it in his. He didn't say anything; instead, he looked out the window, watching our surroundings. "Harrison told me about your conversation from that day last week," he said, "Why he waited so long I'll never know." Tom then tore his gaze off the window and he met my eyes, "You hurt me, Kennedy. You hurt me deeply. But I said what I said on spring break. You're my soulmate."

    "Do I still have feelings for you? Fuck yes I do. But we need to light our candle again. We need to love each other as friends before we can ever love each other as something more," he said and I swear to God my heart had an orgasm.

     He saw my expression and he laughed, leaning over the table and hugging me tightly. "You're still my best friend, Kenny. You'll always be," his voice was muffled against my shoulder.  Our waiter soon arrived with our food and Tom looked at his before he looked at mine. As if the past three months were erased from memory, he gave me the most mischievous grin and said, "Last one to finish their whole meal has to pay," and we both dug in.

  WOOT WOOT ONLY TWO CHAPTERS LEFT BEFORE IT'S FINISHED.
ALSO: Mr. Chen is the principal, i literally just named him when I was writing this chapter so sorry for the confusion.

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~Not edited~