Dork Diaries: Tales from a NOT SO Happily Ever After

April 1st

Why, why, why, is my life so HORRIBLY FREAKING TERRIBLE?!?!?!? Why couldn't we just choose our OWN cabin buddies. I mean, the biology teacher could save herself a LOT of paperwork by letting us choose ourselves!!!
The drama started when the bus arrived at Camp Red Willows, It slowly pulled in to this forested area without a cabin in site. We kept driving on this bumpy dirt road for about, wait for it, FORTY MINUTES! The teachers insisted that they didn't know why the entrance was so long, but I sure knew- and I am TOTALLY positive the teachers knew too. They didn't want ANYONE escaping from the horrors of Camp Red Willows. I mean, talk about, umm, CREEPY.

Finally the bus pulled in front of a cluster of 20 cramped looking cabins. The cabins were apparently supposed to hold four students each, but they looked like they would be cramped only with two.
"All right students!!! This is where you'll be spending all weekend having educational FUN!!!" Said Mrs. Kemp in a loud voice. "I hope you have what you need because we are not going back to Westchester until Monday."
I just rolled my eyes and whispered across the aisle to Chloe, "You and Zoey are bunking with Marcy and I, right?"
"Yes-" Chloe started to say until she was rudely interrupted by Mrs. Kemp.
"You are absolutely NOT bunking with whoever you please. You are to bunk in your assigned bunk with your assigned bunk mates." She glared at Chloe and I, daring us to defy her.

Turning back to a list in her hand, she started reading of the list of bunk mates in an overly cheery voice when she finally got to me.
"Nikki Maxwell, Zoey Franklin, Britney Chang, and MacKenzie Hollister will bunk in Cabin seven. So that's all. Please proceed to your assigned cabins."

I saw Zoey's jaw drop. Not only were we not bunking with Chloe, we had to bunk with, [gulp] MACKENZIE!!!
Chloe walked over to us. "It's okay guys. At least I get to bunk with Marcy." She was probably really sad that she couldn't bunk with Zoey and I and really, really, HAPPY that she wouldn't have to bunk with the talking pitbull. (AKA Mackenzie.) I can't believe that I was assigned a bunk with Mackenzie. I mean, what CRAPPY luck!!! :( My weekend just went from bad to worse in a matter of two minutes!!!)

Suddenly I heard the clack clack of high heeled boots. I whipped around and saw MacKenzie sashaying towards me. All of a sudden she was all in my face like acne cream.

"Look Maxwell, you have officially ruined my trip by a third. If you so much as look at me the wrong way, I will, I will, just DON'T MAKE ME ANGRY!!!" She snarled. Then she sashayed away. I just HATE when MacKenzie sashays!!!

"It's okay Nikki," Zoey reassured," Don't listen to MacKenzie. She is just an evil little WITCH who will do ANYTHING to get her way.

I just listened to the rest of Zoey's pep speach without much interest. I was imagining all the terrible things MacKenzie could do to me. She could:

Put shaving cream in my socks

She could throw my clothes in the lake

Paint my soap bar with clear nail polish so it wouldn't make suds

[Gasp] Tell Brandon I like him

Put baby powder in my blow dryer

Pour food coloring on my face

Make ME sleep on the floor

Actually, thinking about all the horrible things MacKenzie might do is kind of like a horror movie. You never know WHAT is going to happen next. Like I said,Mackenzie is a talking PITBULL and she'll probably bite my throat out while I'm sleeping!!! Okay maybe that's a little dramatic. I'm sure that MacKenzie would never resort to MURDER to get me out of her life. But pitbulls are aggressive and unpredictable dogs, so, I dunno...

On a much happier note, Zoey and I decorated our cabin before MacKenzie got there. In a matter of five minutes, we had claimed the top bunks, arranged our pillows and sleeping bags to look like real beds, and set up Zoey's iPad/laptop at the foot of her bed so we could sit there and watch movies late at night. It looked fantastic!!! Then finally I made my hair into a braid and slipped on a pair of track shorts and a tshirt for pajamas. (THe trip from Westchester had taken seven hours and there would be no activities for the day.) I was preparing to jump from my bed to Zoey's when the door opened then quickly slammed shut. MacKenzie stormed in with her face as red as a beet, her eyes bugging out like a frog's. She eyed me all evil like then threw her stuff on the the bunk below Zoey. Zoey gulped audibly.

Then MacKenzie did the most spoiled, bratty thing I have ever seen in my life!!! She ripped her iPhone 5c out of her designer Juicy Couture bag and-wait for it- chucked at the wall!!! As soon as the poor phone hit the wall it shattered into a bazillion pieces onto the cold log floor. Then she started to take out her hot pink designer pocket knife (I know what you are thinking- how are pocket knives designer? The truth is, I have NO idea!) But the scariest part was when she whipped around and stared at me with the knife gleaming in her hand. She kind of cocked her wrist back like she going to THROW it at me, then suddenly she relaxed and slumped into the wall. "Don't make me angry..." she muttered.

By now Zoey and I were huddled on top of her bed in terror that MacKenzie was going to KILL us. We stayed like that for a couple more minutes then broke apart, just as Britany Chang walked in. I was sooo jealous that she DIDNT have to witness such a mentally scarring event. Suddenly she motioned for us to go outside the cabin with her. Zoey and I slipped off the bed then slowly padded past MacKenzie.

"I bet she threw a fit, didn't she?" said Britany once we were out side and the door was closed.
"Well, be glad that you didn't witness it. How did you know?" Zoey and I said at the same time.
"Well, while you guys raced to the cabin, I was following MacKenzie because I didn't know where Cabin 7 was. She must have been looking for Branden, because as soon as she spotted him, she ran over to him like a raging bull. She was twirling her hair around her finger and flirting with him and telling him what a CUTE couple they made. Brandon looked kind of confused, so he said, Mackenzie, why do you like to spread these LIES about us?!?! Then he was telling her off in front of everybody about how it wasn't nice to spread rumors."

I just stared at Britany in shock. I can't BELIEVE Brandon would ever tell MacKenzie off like that!!!

There was only one thing though. MacKenzie was obviously angry, and angry Pitbulls are very, very, VISCIOUS!!!