The Trouble with Faking It / Tyler Seguin

Chapter 6: I'll Be Home For Christmas - Part 1

"Jaxon, c'mon." I say, jogging to catch up to him. "You said you understood when I decided to move."

He stops walking and spins around to look at me, hurt and anger evident in his eyes. "You abandoned us, and when you did, you left a mess behind."

This stops me in my tracks. When I said I wanted to move away, Jax was the only person who was happy for me when I moved away, because he knew how much it meant to me.

"You know that he will never forgive you for leaving, right? You were the only one who he believed cared and thought he was worth something other than what people thought of him. Jesus, he didn't even think that I believed in him."

"Did you?" I snap. "Because you never showed that you did. You, mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, and his friends all gave up on him and I was the one who had to be there for him because I did believe that he could change and find his way back to himself. You all left that burden on my shoulders."

Jax's expression doesn't change, his face remains hard. "You gave up on him."

I don't have an answer for that because he's right, in some sense. Maybe I should have tried harder.

But what I have come to understand over the years is that the past is the one thing you'll never be able to change.

No matter how much you want to.

***

The presents are wrapped and stuffed under the tree when we get home. It's easy to tell that Jax and I had an argument, so my parents don't say anything when we go our separate ways without speaking a word to anyone.

I make my way towards my room to try and Facetime Tyler or Madilyn but stop when I see Christmas gifts piled up at the end of the hallway. I should have known mom would get him presents even though we all know he won't come out of his room tomorrow. Especially with me here.

I think of the lone Christmas gift I brought, somewhere at the bottom of my suitcase. I decided to forgo large presents this year and gave everyone gift cards.

Except him. I knew that I wouldn't see him, but I always got a present for him.

I open my suitcase as soon as I get to my room and dig through everything until I come across the small box. It's wrapped in the same paper I use every year, because I don't put a tag on it. He knows it's from me.

There's no sound coming from the bedroom but that's nothing new. I knock three times before leaving the present in front of his door, and darting down the hallway, around the corner. I hear the door open and the close quickly and when I look, the present is missing, and a single card is laying on the floor.

I grab the card and make my way back to my room. As if on que, my phone starts ringing, and I see Tyler's picture pop up. I accept the Facetime request and smile when his face comes into view. Lately when I see him, I get these weird feelings in my stomach. Feelings I haven't felt in years, probably since I was a teenager.

"Hey love," he says and again, like a teenager, I blush.

"Hey back," I grin. "I didn't know people who weren't couples called each other pet names."

He smirks. "I'm working on wooing you. I heard you had a Secret Santa."

"Yeah, whoever it is has awful messy writing."

The smirk drops off his face. "I don't have –ʺ

I laugh. "Knew it was you."

He grumbles something under his breath and then asks how everyone is. He's skittering around the one person I know he wants to ask about.

"Ask." I say tiredly.

He smiles sheepishly. "How is Axel?"

It hits me in the chest when people say his name sometimes because I so rarely hear it.

I shrug and glance over at the unopened card.

"He gave me a card." I tell him. "and he took the present. Thanks again for helping me pick it out."

Tyler smiles. "My pleasure."

He can tell I want to move on from this subject, so he starts talking about how his family is and what their plans for the holidays are. We didn't get a chance to exchange gifts before I left so, we agreed to wait until we're both back in Dallas.

We talk for awhile before he has to go and then I decide to go upstairs. But as I'm opening the door, I see that Axel's bedroom door is wide open and he's carrying the gifts in one by one.

I haven't laid eyes on him in five years, so I stop in my tracks.

He looks terrible. Hair too long, and he looks like he hasn't showered in a week. It makes me sad that this is what my brother has become.

He hasn't noticed that I'm standing here yet, so I don't know what to do. Will he be angry to see me? I wonder when the last time someone actually spoke to him. My dad was furious after everything that happened and if not for my mom, Axe would be kicked out of the house.

I don't end up having a choice because I hear my mom calling my name from upstairs and I watch as Axel's head shoots up. The minute his eyes land on me, they turn cold and he slams his door, shutting me and the rest of the world out.

Maybe coming home for Christmas was a mistake.

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HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!  I hope you all have a fun and safe holiday season!

notes:

sooo axel is the brother that no one in the family talks about and we'll find out in part 2 why that is

also axel is jax's twin!! 

only a bit of tyler and daisy in this chapter but the next chapter is really gonna focus on her family and what exactly happened with axel. 

hope you like it!

- alexandra