Chapter 1

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We have been best friends since the summer between 8th grade and the begining of freshman year. His dad had come to the states for work and he lived next door to my dad. Harry spent the summers with his dad while i spent whenever i felt like being at my dads with him. Harry didn't have much of a choice, his dad wasn't in the same town let alone the same country for him to go see him all the time. My parents lived less than a mile from each other and although they were divorced they didn't write me into a parental agreemen, my mom simply wrote "She's old enough to make her own descisions. If she wants to stay at her dads she can, if she wants to stay home she can."

In the begining we bonded over our divorced parents, school, and our seperate groups of friends. Harry was a people pleaser, he had a LOT of friends everybody like him. Not that i blame any of them, he's hard to not like. I had a select group of friends. Four or five, and I never really felt the need to look for anymore. We had of course met before Harry had entered the X-Factor. Back when he was just a normal teenager. We had become best friends fast, even when he was back in England we still talked and skyped everyday, despite the time differences. There were things I could tell him that I couldn't tell my friends here, not that they wouldn't support me it just felt easier with Harry. We were those best friends who did everything together in turn it got us in some trouble. 

2 years earlier:

"Are you sure about this?" Harry was wide eyed and frankly a little shocked at what I had just said.

"If you don't want to then i'll find some other scrauny high schooler to do it." I smiled but I knew he could tell how nervous I was. 

"No, don't do that. I-I just- isn't this suppose to be like the biggest moment of your life?"

"Harry, that's your wedding. This is just sex." I was still a virgin, and although I had had quite a few relationships either all the guys had bailed before we did the deed, or I was too replusived to have them put anything of theirs near anything of mine. So I had asked Harry. He was my best friend. And to be honest I just wanted it to be over with. 

"Ok, but not today, if you want to do this we should do this at least somewhat right. Give me time to get all my expertise in a basket." There it was, his smile, right alone side his joke. 

That next night, Harry called me a little after midnight. H- You think you can meet me at my dads in ten?

Me- I'll be there.

Harrys room was on the first floor so i knocked the the window and climbed in like i had a 100 times before. But his room was different, it was overly clean, he was always really clean but tonight it was extra clean. There were candles surrounding the outline of the room. Guess he wasn't kidding about about getting all of his expertise into a basket. He actually took time to plan this all out. 

“Your dad out tonight?”

gYeah, he had a date.” No suprise there, his dad was always out on dates, a differnt woman every week. “Last time, Sam are you sure?”

I didn't bother to answer though, I just leaned in and let our lips meet. He was taking his time and moving slowly, soon he was to my neck. His hands roamed my body, relentless in their pursuit of flesh. His panting breaths were hot against the already damn skin of my neck. My skin buzzed with anticipation.  He cautiously reached his hand out connecting the bare skin of my back with his palm, pulling my chest directily against his. He layed me down onto the bed and began to strip me of my clothes, while removing some of his in the process.

I wasn't sure if it was me or the moment but my entire body was shaking with the promise of his touch. I looked in between us and smiled, seeing a very big bulge looking uncomfortably restrained inside of his underwear. “You’re so perfect.” Harry whispered.

gFirst drawer.” he said, glancing at it. I understood quickly, leaning over and opening the drawer, reaching in blindly and pulling out a box of condoms. 

“If it hurts, just tell me and I’ll stop.” Harry said eyes full of concern and worry. I nodded, reading myself. This was it. He slowly pushed his tip inside of me. I gasped, already feeling pain. “I love you.”

After that night mine and Harrys relationship had changed. It wasn't about the sex to me but what he had said during it, which I had constantly reminded myself was a heat of the moment thing. It wasn't a mistake and even to this day I don't regret it. But the problem was we didn't stop. If things got tough or things got lonely between one of us we would go to each other. We were never in a committed relationship though. Even once I had tried to move the relationship so we weren't just “having sex” but the conversation quickly changed. 

That was the day he told me when he got home he was going to audition for the x factor. It seemed like nothing at the time, and I was a year older than him so I was going to go to college anyways, it was both of our big breaks. The only problem was he got his but I didn't get mine. 

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