Nathan Adrian didn't talk to me the next day... which I guess I pretty much deserved for being a total fame bitch.

In a span of a few days, I turned into this cheap plastic Golden Girl... this girl who whored for attention... this girl desperate for the limelight. And I didn't even realize that the guy I wanted was right in front of me. I didn't need cameras and publicity to make a bold statement.

And I felt horrible.

And when I was training that night, I felt even worse... Nathan's pitiful look of total hurt and sadness never left m head.

He really did love me for me. And what I love? His body... his smile.. the FAME.

The next morning was the women's 400 free relay event. I had to anchor, as usual. Ledecky was in my relay. Greeeeaaaaaaat. more tension.

"On your mark." *BEEP* the swimmers dived in.

I looked around to check if Nathan was here. All I saw were men from all over the world donning Speedos. They were all hot. But they weren't Adrian.

I desperately searched the crowd..... Nope. Nothing. I wasn't getting a kiss from him today.

I snapped back to reality. Oh no... our relay was behind. We were horribly behind. By about a leg and a 50 or so... Oh no.......

Ledecky just got out of the water and the next girl before me dived in.

She looked at me with huge eyes and shook me several times.

"W ARE DEPENDING ON YOU!" she screamed. "Please!"

Oh wow. EVEN MORE TENSION.

I waited 'til the other girl touched the wall and I dived in. I swam my heart out. At least I tried to. I breathed on my left side, so I couldn't really see if I caught them up. I did a flip-turn ( a crooked one, I still can't do a perfect one) and swam back to finish my leg.

Heat pulsed within me and propelled me to go farther.. faster...

I popped my head out of the water and gasped.

"HOLY CRAP YOU DID IT!" Ledecky helped me out of the pool.

"U.S.A. in second place..." I heard the commentator say.

As I tried to catch my breath, I looked around frantically for Nathan. He wasn't there.

"You caught us up!!!" Ledecky shook me excitedly and after that, something happened. I can't describe what the heck went on but it was so shocking that EVERYONE stopped talking.

Kathy Ledecky leaned into me, grabbed me, and kissed me.

I was too stunned to pull away, but when I did, it was too late. The crowd gasped and flashbulbs snapped everywhere.

This was NOT happening. Something made me look the stands. It was him. It was Nathan, who was about to walk up to me with a bouquet of flowers. He looked at me, his heart breaking, and then he walked away sadly.

BULL. SHIT.

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