How to Shoot Yourself 101

My Untoched Cake

1) I like cake
2) This guy, I'm calling him Jay, likes cake.
3)Enjoy my story explaining how I protect what I love ❤️

One specifically interesting day, I was walking around the school grounds with my friend, we'll call her Cami. Cami is my closet friend, so we were just having an average conversation when we were presented a chance. A chance, to enjoy some cake. My other good friend March, offered to snatch me a piece from the orchestra room. Obviously, I just thought, "cool free cake." Full proof, right? Free cake=Happy Me

Might I just say I was terribly WRONG.

When we were walking to the orchestra hall we passed two guys. One was Jay, the other was his friend Zack. No big deal. We keep walking. Our sights set on our main objective, cake. My problem didn't arise until after I received my mouthwatering slice of heaven. When we exited the room of instruments (the cake was in the orchestra room) we had to walk by Jay and Zack again. However, as soon as Jay laid eyes on my precious piece, he became a threat. "Hey —he says my name— can I have some of that cake."

Oh god no

MAYDAY ⚠️ MAYDAY

PROTECT THE CAKE, (at least that's what I was thinking).
Jay began to walk towards me. As he became closer and closer to me, I began to panic. What should I do? What should I do? WHAT SHOULD I DO?! The answer became clear.
If you touch my cake I will slap you.
That's it! If I say this very phrase, they should leave me alone!

All I had to do was tell this guy not to touch my cake. Although obviously me being a idiotic child, said this...

"IF YOU TOUCH ME, I will slap you!"
I spatted these slightly harsh words at him.... oops. I bolted down another (random) hallway. I needed to get away, and quickly. I ran into a empty classroom. My friend, Cami, following close one my trail. She was dumbfounded, but as she saw me hiding, she began laughing.
(What a good friend)

Once I was secluded from Jay and Zack, I was free to react however I seemed fit. This being said, as soon as I was in the classroom alone, I began laughing uncontrollably. I fell to my knees, no longer able to stand. "—she says my name— your cake!" I was so distracted in my laughter that I almost dropped my cake! Once I calmed down, Cami explained to me that once I left, the boys faces were priceless. My awkward comment left the boys is dismay and confusion.

Now, this story teaches many important lessons. However, if you are to learn anything from this story, get this. No matter how you do it, protect what you love. And enjoy your cake, don't ever let anything get in your way.