Reality

Reality

Inspired by Diffraction by Julie Mehretu

     "I'm back," I mumble to nothing. I sit down to rest on the infinite expanse of sand in my hometown of Malta, Florida. Troubling, gray clouds mask the illuminated full-moon. Looking out into the horizon, I see little water droplets from the sea float themselves high up into the sky, perching themselves together with the twinkling stars. Fumbling through my sandy pockets, I take out a rusty knife that's wearing a wooden handle.
     I whisper to the ocean,"Philip, I'm thinking about joining you." I say as my fingers touch the cold, rippling waves. "My world has shifted since your death; it's flipped upside down. I don't think I can go on without my best friend. I've been cursed by my own mental stress of you. We were just orphans, yet I want to die." I stare at the floating water droplets.
     Suddenly, I hear the waves crashing more violently. Ripples become roaring splashes. I look out into the ocean and see a dark object washing towards land. Is it real? I think to myself.
A tiny boat lands on the shore, and a clouded figure jumps out. An old sailor approaches me swiftly, scratching his beard hesitantly as he observed my hand holding the knife behind my back.
     "Nigat Eddel, I presume?" The sailor's voice is rough and coarse, but it wavered a little as he eyed at the hand behind my back.
     "How do you know my-" I begin to stammer out as confusion plagues my mind.
     "I've heard rumors about your illusions," the man coughs out. Discomfort wraps around me as I look out again at the floating water droplets. The man shakes out the water in his rain boots hastily. I've never seen him before. He has to be fake. I say reassuringly to myself. "I've also heard about your tragic loss, Ms. Eddel."
     My mind goes blank. Memories of Philip's horrifying death replay over and over. I grip my knife tightly. Philip and I were best friends for the past ten years, since we were five. We did everything together, until the day he was beaten to death by some thugs. They killed Philip for sport. I saw it happen, but I was too afraid to stop it. My pain and guilt from his death has manifested into these boggling illusions.
     "So? What do you want?" I raise my voice. "I have nothing! I was too scared to save him! I failed!"
     "I want to tell you why you're here, Ms. Eddel," the man says calmly. His rough but muscular hand softly grabs my hiding arm. His eyes droop when he sees the knife hidden within my grasp.       "Let's start with your name: Nigat Eddel," the man says.
     "What's so special about my name?" I say doubtfully.
     "It means 'Dawn' and 'Destiny.' Does it not?" The man points out. He sits down and stares at the hidden moon.
     "Well, yeah, but it's just a name," I fumble my words.
     "You're lying to yourself, Ms. Destiny. You were given that name because you have the power to do incredible things," the man says hopefully.
     "I'm always seeing things that aren't there," my voice shakes. "You're just in my head. You're not real."
     "That's for you to decide, Ms. Eddel," the man chuckles. "I'm only here to speak of wisdom and truth."

     As I ponder about what he says, a stream of questions pop into my mind. "Why do you care about me so much?" I blurt out. "I'm not special! I'm delusional!"

     The old man paused for a second. He stood up slowly, then looked behind me. The sailor was observing my peaceful town a few miles away up in the hills. He grabs my shoulders lightly, spinning me around to look at my home.
     "It's because you have the power to unite, Ms. Eddel. The power to unite people and make them care," the old man spoke gallantly as he combed his beard. "When Philip died, no one cared about his death and life. You were the only one who nurtured him like family. Throughout all of your sadness and pain, you still unified and taught people the importance of respecting everyone, no matter their background or current state. You taught them that Philip managed the town flowers, gave all of his food to other orphans, how he never yelled, screamed, or complained to anyone. You were the one who organized the whole town to prepare a funeral for the orphan, Philip." The old man's tone was very serious, but he almost sounded like he was disturbed.
     All but the ocean made a sound. The stars paused, awaiting my response. Suddenly, my world felt real again. The little water droplets rushed down into the ocean in a gleaming fashion; echoes of soft rain washed my stress away. I took a deep breath, looking out to see the gray clouds parting to reveal a shining blue moon.
     "Philip was my son, Ms. Eddel. Yet I abandoned him when I was a ferocious man," the father's voice whimpered. "Many years later, I came back to Philip's birthplace, only to find him nowhere. After a few months, I discovered about his terrifying death, joining your funeral to apologize to my warm-hearted son."

     I began to ponder about Philip, remembering how he offered me gifts and treats every day. I remembered how he told me to never give up, and suddenly I realized that the old man was right. I buried the knife into the sand, resolving my past sins and illusions. The waves calmed down, not even the wind spoke. Maybe I can make it up to Philip. I decided.
     "I'll tell you everything about him," I grabbed the old man's hand. "I can assure you he was the kindest boy I've ever met." As we both walked away from the sea, I finally knew that I wouldn't be stuck in my illusions or disturbing thoughts anymore. I'm living in reality.