Untold Sorrow

He stole my smile

Then Margaret jumped to her feet. 'Well, I must get busy. It's almost noon and I haven't begun to get things ready for the party.

'Party!' I exclaimed. 'What party?'

Margaret put her hands on her hips and gave me a disgusted look. 'The party I've been planning for the past three weeks, of course. Don't tell me you've forgotten.'

'No,' I said slowly. 'I hadn't forgotten. I just didn't think it would be so soon.' I raised my eyes in sudden suspicion. 'Have you invited Matthew?'

Margaret reddened and patted her hair nervously. 'Well, yes, to be honest, I did.'

'Well, then, I won't go,' I stated flatly.

'He declined,' Margaret rushed ahead. 'He said he'd be out of town.' She paused. 'He asked about you when I called him.

'What did you tell him?'

Margaret shrugged. 'Just that I didn't understand you and never had. He seemed concerned about you.' She waited, but when I didn't answer, she gave another exasperated exclamation, then turned and stalked out of the room.

I turned back to my work, relieved the painful discussion was finally over. I hated talking about it. Of course, he would be concerned. That didn't mean he wanted me back. One word, I thought, one movement towards me, and I knew I would have gone back to him on any terms.

Then I stared down at the half-finished drawing on the table. Why hadn't he called me? But then, I had left him. Maybe he was waiting for me to call him. Could we ever get back on the old footing again?

There was something else. I had begun to suspect that I might possibly be pregnant. As yet, it was only a faint possibility, too soon to tell? If it was true, we might be able to resume our original 'arrangement' and make it work, with a child to consider.

Then I thought of that last night we'd spent together, the hatred in the grey eyes, the unleashed violence of his lovemaking, brutal, punishing, unyielding. I shivered a little and picked up my pencil again. No one had ever treated me like that before in my life, I thought, trying to concentrate on my work. Certainly, Richard hadn't.

But no one, not even Richard, had ever aroused me to the pitch of passion Matthew had, either.

There was no way could I get out of putting in at least a token appearance at Margaret's party. Fifty people had been invited, and although the house was large, they'd be all over the place. I couldn't just hide in my room.

I waited to make my appearance downstairs until well after all the guests had arrived and the noise of the party drifted up to my bedroom. Most of my clothes were still at the apartment in town, and all I had to wear was the black dress I had on that last night I'd spent there. While at Margaret's, she had carefully mended the ripped front seam where Matthew had torn it in his fury.

When I slipped unobtrusively into the dining room where the bar had been set up, I was relieved to see that William was standing there talking to David and two other men on the President's staff. William

Looked so comfortable, I thought, so solid and reassuring, and I saw his eyes light up as I walked slowly towards him.

'Jennifer,' he greeted me warmly, putting an arm around my shoulders. 'Here you are. Will you have a drink?'

'Yes, please,' I murmured. 'Hello, David,' I said, turning to the stocky blond man. 'I haven't seen you for quite a while. How have you been?'

'Oh, same as usual,' he replied, 'trying to stay out of trouble.'

I laughed. 'Do you find that so difficult? What have you been up to?'

William handed me a drink and I took a grateful swallow. It wasn't so bad, I thought. These people are all my friends.