petals ; 2jae

❝ one

CHAPTER ONE  ➳ YOUNGJAE

warning ; abusive relationship

Youngjae wanted to die.

        In fact, he found himself constantly wishing his death would come sooner rather than later, but he was never lucky enough to get his wish granted; because his boyfriend always stopped hitting him before he was past the point of no return.

        Youngjae felt the familiar stinging burn of his boyfriends' large hand hit his cheek – a feeling that Youngjae had grown way too familiar with. He instinctively put his hand on his throbbing cheek, hoping next time his boyfriend would hit him somewhere that he wouldn't have to worry about covering with makeup.

"Did you see the way Bambam looked at you?" Youngjae's boyfriend Daeshim roared, clearly very angry. He hated when Daeshim got this way – angry, jealous and demeaning. He couldn't help but feel as if this was somehow his fault and that whatever happened to him was his own doing, since he had always found a way to make Daeshim upset. "He was pretty much undressing you with his eyes! You're mine,Jae!"

"I-I swear I didn't." Youngjae choked, taking steps backwards until he felt his back hit the wall. Great, He thought. There was no space to hide anymore. He tried his best to seem brave, not afraid and almost like he was able to take it like a man, but couldn't help but crumble with fear every time the man he loved look at him. Lately, Daeshim had decided to wear rings again, which made the hits way more painful, and made Youngjae even more scared of him than he already was.

Youngjae hoped that one day he looked strong enough that he wouldn't hit him anymore.

"Don't fucking lie to me Youngjae." Daeshim sneered, walking closer to the boy. The scared boy felt his stomach drop at the approaching figure. "Are you cheatingon me? You know how much I hate liars." Daeshim grabbed Youngjae by his hair and yanked him to the ground, causing his forehead to come in harsh contact with the floor, eyes widening at the contact of his head and the ground.

"Please, stop." Youngjae cried, tears falling out of his eyes. "I would, I would never ch-cheat on you." He sobbed. Youngjae got himself into the familiar fetal position, hoping Daeshim wouldn't go any further. He never knew when he would stop. Sometimes it was after a couple hits, but some days he liked to prolong it. "I'll do anything, just, please, stop hitting me!"

        It wasn't always like this. In the beginning of their relationship, Daeshim was caring, loving and nothing went wrong. He used to let Yougnjae have his own sense of freedom, didn't control anything he wanted to do - he was individually independent. Daeshim was his first official boyfriend in which he was out of the closet for, and Daeshim knew, and took advantage of that.

       Suddenly, it all changed. Daeshim went from asking how Youngjae's day was, to insulting him saying that he was nothing without him, and he wouldn't last one day on his own. Daeshim also told him that Youngjae wasn't able to be successful without him, and the fragile boy begun to depend on him. He became possessive, to the point where he rarely sees his family anymore. Youngjae didn't remember the last time he hugged his mother.