Crystal

Chapter 16: No hope for the wicked

I can feel Rob’s eyes on me as I sped down the road. I can imagine his thought process. It hasn’t been a normal few weeks for us, specifically for me. But it did feel good to be myself. I heard a clink sound and looked over at Rob lighting his cigarette.

            “Oh please give me one.” I begged. It’s been so long and I definitely need it now more than I have ever needed a cigarette.

            “Why do you need one? It’s not like you were possessed for a few days.”  He breathed out his smoke.

            “Come on asshole give me one!”

            “Alright cracky, calm down. Ever think you might have a problem?” Rob said as he reached in his pack for another cigarette. He put it to his lips and lit it then passed it over and placed it in my lips.

            I give it to him for having a sense of humor. Breathing in that tobacco felt amazing. I grabbed the cigarette from my mouth and breathed out a long stream of smoke.

            “How you feeling?” Rob asked.

            “Amazing.”

            “No, I mean since…well, since the house, since this week.” He felt awkward asking. Well we have to talk about it sooner or later.

            “I guess, okay. I mean, I do feel good.”

            “How was it?”

            “It was horrible, like being trapped in your own body. I wanted to do things, but I just couldn’t. I wanted to speak out and just scream but I couldn’t. It was scary as hell because I was aware of it all. But I couldn’t do anything.”

            I took another pull of the cigarette.

            “What made you stop?” I asked him.

“What are you talking about?”

“When I said ‘Get out’ you were about to leave but then you stopped.”

“Because something didn’t feel right. I knew something wrong since you that week you were sick. You seemed off. And I was gonna leave because it was frustrating. I didn’t know what to do or how to help. But then…” he trailed off.

I looked over at him and he had his head down. “But then what?” I asked.

“It sounds stupid. I just said it in my head and it sounds stupid.”

“What? Just say it.”

He let out a long sigh. “Alright. Well as I started to leave, I heard you whisper. It sounded like you said please. It was so light, but when I turned back to look at you, you still looked zombie like. Your body was still defensive from when you told me to get out.”

“Please? I said please?” I asked. I was trying to recall that moment but all I can remember hearing was a choke sound escaping my lips.

“Yeah. It was light but I definitely heard it.”

“I don’t remember saying it. I just heard a choke sound. Like the sound you make as your about to cry kind of choke.”

“I heard that too.”

“Wait, you can’t have heard both.”

“Yeah I did. I just heard please first and then the choke. And then I don’t know, something told me to try.”