Heartache

It's All Your Fault

You are your worse enemy,
It's all your fault,
You wouldn't be so alone,
If it wasn't your fault.

If you weren't so ugly,
If your hair wasn't a mess,
If your eyes weren't flickering,
If you weren't so skinny,
Then people would like you.

You talk funny,
You dress strange,
Yet it doesn't matter.

If I weren't so scared,
If I weren't so dumb,
If I weren't so ugly,
I would have friends.

Yet it's all my fault.

It's all my fucking fault,
I try to make friends,
I try to blend in,
I'm fucking miserable,
I'm fucking alone.

Judged for things I can't help,
Judged for the things I do,
Nobody cares to learn about me.

I draw well,
I dress decently,
I smile,
I'm friendly,
Yet nobody cares.

I feel ugly,
I feel underweight,
I feel like a skeleton.

I'll never fit in,
I'm judged for my hidden,
My fucking hidden disability.

I'm told to take drugs,
I'm told to die,
Yet I hope.

I hope I can find someone,
Someone who can save me.

I feel like I'm dying,
But I'm not.

I feel like shit,
Like shit because so many have it worse,
And here I am complaining.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I'm happy; I'm sad,
I'm proud; I'm depressed,
I'm levelheaded; I'm insane.

Everything goes two ways,
Two ways,
It's splitting me apart,
And it's all my fault.