I talk about depression as if it's an old friend
Dropping by for a visit
When in reality, depression is a spider
Hiding until the last second
And when you notice it
It's too late
I talk about depression as if it's an old friend
Because when scars weren't enough to portray
The utter
And complete
Hopelessness
Filling every pore in my body
It was there like a midnight cloak
Comforting me with false promises of freedom
You hear depression and think
Sadness
I hear depression and think
Days without eating
Days without moving
Days where my only friend was loneliness
But loneliness was a mirage
Depression is lying in bed at three in the morning
Comparing your scars to stars
And the stars to razorblades
Depression is hearing your father
Drink another bottle
And another, and another
Depression is nobody believing you when you say
'I have no motivation'
Because that's just an excuse to be lazy
Right?
You don't see the side of depression
That's willing your legs to move and your heart to beat
But coming up short
Every
Single
Time
You don't see the side of depression
That's telling your lungs to breathe and your mouth to eat
But no, I'm fine
There's such a stigma surrounding us
That's keeping us grounded
With nooses and pills
No one cares about
Not having motivation
And using metal as a coping mechanism
Until there's another suicide
And the cycle repeats
I talk about depression as if it's an old friend
Because it's easier to embrace
A deficiency of dopamine and serotonin
Than to accept the fact
That I'm never going to be free
I talk about depression as if it's an old friend
Because I'd rather hate this horrible disease
Than hate me.
