Black Boys Bloom Thorns First: Volume 1 (A Black Panther FanFic)

Black Boys Bloom Thorns First Chapter 29

"So will you wait for me?
My evergreen
I know it's just as hard in Heaven
So will you wait for me?
My evergreen
I know it's just as hard
My evergreen
Evergreen
My evergreen..."

Yebba – "Evergreen"

Califia sat inside a clinic that was over-crowded and understaffed.

Her appointment had been for nine in the morning but she wasn't ushered into an examination room until almost eleven. She watched women of various backgrounds and colors sit around her waiting for their names to be called. Some were obviously pregnant, and Califia imagined how she would look in five months. Seven. Nine.

Sitting there gave her unhurried time to think.

She waited another week after she returned from Atlanta to see a doctor. Part of her wait was to see if maybe the second test was wrong and her period would actually show up. It didn't. The other part of the wait was to get her head straight, to make sure that having a baby was the best decision for her life at that moment.

She had always been pro-choice, and always thought she would get an abortion if she had an unplanned pregnancy. This baby was unplanned, but because it was N'Jobu's child, she had romantic notions filter through her mind and even her dreams. Somehow, she would find him and he would come back and they would marry and live happily ever after. But then, reality check. What if she did find him and he didn't want a baby? Could she just go ahead and have a child if the father was against it? They were both responsible for the pregnancy. If N'Jobu was concerned with not having a baby, he sure didn't show it. Pulling out was not his thing.

If he indeed told her he didn't want the baby, and she went ahead and had it, then she would have to figure out child support. The thought of him not wanting their baby made her feel agitated. She was in love with him. Could she still love him if he wanted her to abort? Could she still love him if he refused to see the child? And what if she could reach him and he did act like he wanted to be a father? What if he turned out like her friend Yolanda's boyfriend who acted like he was in it for the long haul, came to the baby shower and everything, then ghosted her after the baby was born?

Having the child would mean changing her immediate educational plans. She would have to put off the credential program for at least a year. She wasn't starting until January, but by her calculations, if she started the accelerated program, her baby would come in May, and she'd have to endure being pregnant, trying to stay on top of her studies, and then find a job right after.

If she put off a year, she could maybe get her old job back at the Blue Rose after she had the baby and earn some cash on top of the money N'Jobu left for her. She could live with her grandmother and maybe get neighborhood babysitters to help her grandmother when she was at work. Use the babysitting network of her friends whom she always watched kids for. Maybe she could sign up for special single mother programs to get her through until she could get her credential and find a job.

Her own mother had gone through this. But she also had her father, Dante, to support her. And they had gotten married.

Her mother.