Things to cure my writers block(lord helpme)

Pick up Lines

"Ow! Zabini, you clumsy oaf. Watch it!"

Draco wrinkled his nose and pointedly dusted himself off while glaring at Blaise, who had just stepped on one of his custom-made onyx leather loafers for the third time since they'd left the common room for breakfast. Honestly! If it had been one mistake, he might've let it slide with a stern warning; two, a little revenge would have to be arranged, but three times? The negligent git was truly asking for it today. And of all days! This was Draco's favourite pair, and he was so not in the mood to negotiate.

"It might do for you to learn how to walk correctly, you prat," he snapped, with a succinct venom. "And how about you put that fucking phone away and face me with proper respect?"

Unfortunately for Draco, Blaise didn't even blink, obviously too enthralled with the device in his hand Draco had so angrily referred to. Draco glared at it intensely, hoping to burn a hole in it. What did Blaise call it again? Oh right, a Blackberry. But why? It wasn't a delicious fruit. Muggle-made items were so strange in that way—why not just call it what it is? Blackberry, his father's regal arse. Ridiculous.

"Hello? Did you even hear me?" Draco practically yelled. "I was just about to verbally whoop your arse!"

"Hm? What was that? Oh, sorry Draco," Blaise said, nodding his head a little. "Can we do this later? I'm a bit preoccupied right now."

Draco almost growled. "Yeah, so am I," he mumbled sarcastically. "Planning your slow and agonizing demise."

No response. Draco sighed loudly and decided not to antagonize Blaise further, as it would obviously do no good. Blaise had been glued to his new muggle phone ever since they had come back to Hogwarts for their unofficial Eighth Year, when the school had started encouraging students to own that sort of rubbish—i.e. cell phones, laptops, pencils and denim jeans. Personally, Draco thought the staff was overdoing it. Wizard-Muggle Unity, whoop-de-doo—but look what it was doing to the students! He shot another disgusted look at the engrossed expression on Blaise's face. Preposterous.

Draco sighed and put his thumbs in the pockets of his new denims. All right, so he could admit that not all muggle things were a complete atrocity. Denims were rather comfortable, and they complimented his already fantastic arse quite nicely—and no, he wasn't being vain, he'd actually seen many a swooning teenage girl (and occasional bloke) ogle it at some point or another. He wasn't going off on just assumption; it was fact. Still, it wasn't as if he was going up and down the corridors shouting 'Muggle Tolerance!'—he had a reputation to uphold. Draco stole yet another biting glance at Blaise, who still wasn't looking at him. His reputation also hindered him from hexing the living daylights out of his bastard best friend as well. Pity.

It was only after they had entered the Great Hall and taken their regular seats at the Slytherin table that Blaise had begun to acknowledge Draco's existence. The boy laughed loudly and pointed at his phone before giving Draco's shoulder a rather hard shove. "Merlin, Draco!" Blaise exclaimed. "You've got to read this tripe. It's hilarious!"

Draco gave him a dry, somewhat injured look. "Oh, so now you want to talk to me?" he asked. "I'm honored, truly."

Blaise grinned brightly, ignoring Draco's sarcasm and pointed lack of interest. But of course the blatant ignorance was on purpose, as no Slytherin was that daft. "Oh, quit your moping," he said. "Look, I've gotten onto this muggle site—"

"Oh, muggles! You should have told me that before! How fascinating! Do tell!"

"Let me finish, you arse. It's this muggle site that has loads of ridiculous pick-up lines to use on anyone for any occasion, and they're brilliant. Just read them."

Draco didn't look at the lighted screen that Blaise had pushed at his face, instead raising an eyebrow and giving the boy a sly smirk. Well, since he wasn't allowed to mope, he might as well start a little something. "And for whom might you be looking up pick-up lines for, my dear friend?" he asked.

Blaise shot him a quick glare but otherwise ignored him, opting to continue rambling on about the story of how he'd come to discover the website instead of responding. Finally, a human reaction! Draco only chuckled. Blaise had had a crush on Seamus Finnigan for over a year now, and he knew that Draco knew that. But then again, almost everybody knew that except for the Gryffindor dunderhead himself, which was absolutely incredible, because Christ, Blaise wasn't a subtle bloke at all. And Draco liked to poke a bit of fun at him for it from time to time. Honestly, what sort of sappy bastard pined after Gryffindors anyway? Especially one of the densest of the bunch—Finnigan was high in the ranks of the 'Potter' hierarchy. Honestly. The thought was just laughable in itself.

"...anyways, I thought that perhaps we should try them out sometime. You know, experiment with them," Blaise finished, before giving Draco a bit of an expectant look.

Draco stared back at him blankly. "Um, sorry?"

Blaise raised an eyebrow. "I said, I've found a particularly hilarious list of pick-up lines for blokes like us to use," he said. "We should give them a go."

Draco frowned. "Blokes like us?"

Blaise gave him a knowing smirk.

Draco sighed. Git. "Well, you've got Finnigan to use them on, but who have I got? None of the simpletons in this school fit any of my criteria for a perfect match."

He wrinkled his nose in disgust and glanced around the table at the others. He'd rather do a dance with a House Elf at a family reunion than date any of the available Slytherins in his year... even Nott, who'd Draco might have had a mini crush on in fourth year. Besides, he'd already wined and dined (literally) every other Slytherin that was worth a second look in this place. So no... And there was no way that he was going for anybody outside of his own House. His eyes flicked over to the Gryffindor table where he caught sight of Granger and the Weasel mooning all over one another as a bedhead-sporting Potter chewed on a piece of toast rather obnoxiously and laughed at something Schlongbottom had said. Ew. Ew. Why were all Gryffindors so... revolting? It was bordering on barbaric. Draco shuddered.

Blaise shrugged after what seemed like a millennium, as if sensing Draco's reluctance to extend his boundaries. "Maybe you haven't been looking in the right places," he suggested. "You have to open your mind to different possibilities, Draco. I mean, you could essentially have anybody you want in the entire school. You know you could."

"That's not completely true. And you know that I don't want just anybody, Blaise."

"All right, fine." Blaise rolled his eyes. "You're a picky bastard, I know, whatever. The point is, you've been spending all of your nights lately hunched over library textbooks and grumbling about how boring everything is. Use a few of these bad boys and you might find something interesting to do. Perhaps even someone."

Draco snorted. "Yes, because a few stupid pick-up lines is going to help me find somebody worth my time," he replied mockingly.

Blaise grinned. "Who knows? Maybe it will."

~x~

Draco had been reading his daily potions text in the library when Blaise stomped in; the git effectively created a huge distraction by sliding into the seat across from Draco and slamming his bag on the table with an echoed bang. Draco looked up at him sharply, hoping that his expression would make the other boy go away and leave him alone. It didn't. Hm. The little shit was getting bolder by the day, to Draco's extreme irritation. They stared at each other for a few moments in silent challenge.