Mythlands: Mythical Origins

10. 201 Teddy Bears (and Phoenix)

'Am I right in thinking Father, that you weren't always an Irish Catholic priest, then?'

Father O Hoolihan laughs. 'No more than young Rufus was a Jewish bear by the name of Goldbloom.'

Rufus leans forward. 'Many of us first became interested in different faiths and cultures and once we sub divided, we assumed new identities based on those interests. For myself and 11 others including my cousin Shlomo, ours were developed after we decided to study the Torah.'

'And do you ... that is to say, your set of Jewish bears get on with the non Jewish teddies?'

Father O Hoolihan cut in. 'Ah, sure and that makes not a bit of difference. All of us are one family and we call each of the others cousins, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles and the like, depending on age and experience.'

'If I may comment ...'

Rosie turns to a slightly larger brown bear in a loose fitting white tunic and white wide trousers; his feet are covered by sandals.

'And you are?'

'Kadir Al Kharma. I wish to say that as a Muslim, I too concur that we are all brothers and sisters. We are family and this is so despite our different beliefs. Take Rufus and myself ... every week we meet to play a game of chess and debate the meaning of this life and existence in these, our beloved lands of myth.'

'Thank you Kadir. Now several of you have mentioned the close family ties between all of the picnic teddy bears, despite differences in beliefs and culture. Can I ask how many of you there actually are? I'll direct this question at a lady bear. Can I ask your name my dear?'

The pink teddy bear with large dark eyelashes was about two feet tall; she was wearing a pink tutu with a darker pink lace top and glass shoes.

'I'm Princess Sparkles.'

'Not a real princess I'm guessing. How did you come by your name and your darling look?'

Sparkles blushed. 'Isn't every girl a princess? I used to dream of a little girl human to be my very best friend, to cuddle and love. Later on a very empowering lady told me that I could be a princess. She's here tonight ... my good friend The Blue Fairy.'

'So your look is influenced by fairy princesses?'

'Somewhat Rosie, but I do a lot more. I volunteer in a soup kitchen and travel around the domain with like minded friends, looking to put a bit of everyday magic in people's lives. Oh but you asked a question ... there are 202 of us.'

'Now now m'dear,' broke in a distinguished looking grey bear in a splendidly cut Victorian evening suit, his top hat and cane resting on his lap. 'You know that Phoenix would object to such a description.'

Sparkles blushed again. 'Oh I'm so sorry if I offended them Lord Theodore.'

Rosie turned to the last bear, who appeared to be a tomboyish looking female - her fur was snow white but the fur atop her head had been tufted up and dyed blue. Around her eyes had been made up to look black. The snow white bear wore a denim jacket and dark jeans atop clumpy DM's and had piercings under her nose and at the top of her right ear.

'So you must be Phoenix. I like your look ... and it says here that you prefer not to be referred to as a bear.'

Phoenix nodded. 'I am species fluid as well as gender neutral. My pronouns are Them and They but I prefer you use my name.'

'Which was chosen to be neutral?'

Lord Theodore guffawed. 'Hah ... They've had more identities than hot dinners! First it was Sally Perkins, then Sunflower and then your punk era name, simply marvelous. Luna Puke!'

'Jaysus Theo, will ye not gie it a rest man?'

But Father O Hoolihan's warning went unheeded.

'Then in the 90's she went through her goth metal phase. Lilith, daughter of the night!! Ha ha!'

Sparkles was in tears. 'Stop it your Lordship, stop it, you always do this! You're not clever, just a mean old bully!!'

Hercules had stood up and was signing in an agitated fashion.

'What's he saying Rufus?' inquired Rosie.

'He's ah saying he'll knock Theo's monocle right off his head!'

Kadir got up. 'I am sorry Miss Riviter, but if I had known this would happen, I would not have agreed to appear on your programme. Lord Theodore, this is why we have not spoken in many years. Allah grant you the peace to realize your hurtful behaviour.'

'Come off it old boy. Can't you coves take a joke?'

Rufus shook his head. 'I'm sorry Phoenix, and you Rosie.'

Phoenix smiled at him. 'It's not your fault Rufus. Everyone knows the old man's been nipping at his flask and it's not the first time he's made a show of himself!'

Rosie stood up and faced the camera. 'Well, what a dramatic turn of events. It seems that Sparkles is too upset to continue and Father O Hoolihan and Hercules are attending to her. We'll be back after the break, but I hope Rufus and Phoenix will stick around and answer our questions - Phoenix, I'm genuinely interested in hearing about your species fluidity and gender neutrality.'

The camera homed in on the three teddy bears still seated, fixing on Lord Theodore whose flask was now out in the open. 'Ah, didn't hear m'name included. Well, a chap knows when he's not wanted. I'll be orf then!'

The floor director signaled with a chop of her arm and the ad break credits began to run.

It was another interesting taping of ROSIE! And the audience loved it.