When You Were Never Mine: Part 2

Winter

"You know, it's usually not recommended to lay on the ground in the middle of Central Park in the middle of the night. Can't we just hang out on the roof back at the tower? Best view in the city," Tony urged hopefully. The expectant grin on his face nearly had you drawn in, but you held your resolve.

"Tony, you're Iron Man," you chuckled back, "I'm the safest person around. Now come here, I want to see this with you." You didn't waver when he refused your extended hand at first, but you had your methods with the man. The tiniest little pout of your bottom lip was all that it ever took, and with the glimmer of moonlight leaving him in his best romantic mood, you had won this battle easily.

"Fine," he relented, taking your hand, "but I really don't see what the big deal is. Office lights, people half drunk on the sidewalk, noise that just never stops...New York is New York."

You turned to him with an immediate shift in the mood, slapping your open hand to your chest as you gasped in pure shock and disgust, "you take that back right now! Look at this and dare to say that again." You pushed him out in front of you, his feet stumbling slightly over the flat mound of smooth rocks as you forced him to the top. "Now, Anthony Stark, you look at that view, and tell me that there's anything ordinary about it. Go on, I'll wait."

He gave it his best effort, to try to see something new in a skyline that he had seen a thousand times, both from the ground and from the freedom of his suit. He tried to remember what it felt like when it was the first time, as a boy in his father's plane, when he had nothing but possibility and imagination ahead of him. He really did give it all he had, if for nothing else but to make you at least smile at his effort.

And then it came to him; he knew exactly what was missing and why he couldn't connect with a feeling that he knew was buried too deep in bad memories and forced duty. He needed to make new memories to flush those away and there was only one way to do it. Tony turned around to face you, smiling gently and moving slowly, taking a position behind you and turning you to face him. He took a few steps back, his eyes never leaving yours, but he could see it all perfectly; he had never seen the city like this, and he had given himself a glimpse of what you wanted him to experience. "There," he sighed, "now I get it. I've never seen anything so beautiful."

Your mind was beginning to prepare itself for the end, giving you a review of the best moments of your life, the vast majority of them involving your husband; the man whose future you now couldn't share. There were a few others scattered in there from your childhood, or memories with the team over holidays spent together or difficult missions that brought you closer. But there were a few select memories of Bucky as well, and you willed yourself to open your eyes. When you finally heard him calling to you in your mind even through the strength of the visions constantly playing within it, you couldn't deny your soulmate the one thing that you could still give.

~~~

Your eyes had opened for merely a second, just enough for Bucky to see all that he needed. They knew that he would be watching and waiting for you; they set it all up perfectly so that he couldn't refuse them. The terror that he saw in that second left him immobile in his own fear, and he berated himself for his weakness; you were the one in danger while he sat on his ass in the safety of the most secure building in the country. When did he become this person, and how could you have been chosen as his soulmate when he so clearly didn't deserve you?

"Barnes?" Tony repeated, standing still at the door and just as immobile. "What the hell does that mean? They took her because of you? What exactly did you do?"

"Buck?" Steve joined in, taking a step closer to Tony and ready to hold him back should his emotions get the best of him. Tony was a broken man and the last time that kind of emotion flowed through him, and the last time they were directed at Bucky, it didn't end well. When his friend answered silently and stood to leave the room, it took all of his will to not follow and to keep Tony held back to wait; he had to physically put himself into his path to slow him down. "Tony, give him a minute, okay? He'll come around."