So in my depression chapter I said I've been through a lot
Witch is true
And I'm ready to talk
I know I'm gonna cry it's natural
And I'm listening to The Truth Untold witch doesn't help any
But let's get started
*Sighs*
(I might have to make a part two)
Let's get to the one that bugs me the most and my deepest darkest secret
It's about my old step dad
He molested me for 4 years
Something that will be engraved in my mind forever
He was supposed to be a second dad to me but instead he thought it would be fun to take advantage of me
By telling me that if I told anyone about his dirty little secret he would hurt me
He molested me every day my mom wasn't around
I remember the leather chair he would do it the most
He told me to come sit down and I knew what it meant
It meant he was going to molest me
I had no choice but to go to him
I was a little kid
I didn't know any better
When I had friends over and I had to go to the restroom he would like to them and tell them that I wasn't potty training and go in and "help" me because I guess I "wasn't" potty trained
It got to the point were he grew so "hungry" for me he came in at night to do his dirty deed
I'm a light sleeper so I could hear his footsteps and knew he was coming
He came in
It started with my blankets then my shorts or any pants I was wearing
Then the underwear
Then he wanted to do more
He wanted to rape me
I got out of the shower and I needed to put lotion on my body
So I asked to put lotion on my back because he was the only one home
He told me to lay down on my back and close my eyes
Then he came out
And I felt something on my area
It was like a finger except bigger
Then it hit me and I stopped him
And he had the courage to ask me why
Why?!
Really?!
I'll tell you why
Because what your doing is illegal
Simple
And it just gets worse
He would do it to my brother too
And he hurt my brother
When he did something "bad" he would hit him or take his ear
Pinch it
Twist it
And pull
For several minutes
My mom asked him to stop
He didn't
He just pulled harder
My brother was in tears pleading for him to stop
He was so hurt
I wanted to help
I couldn't
I was scared
And when I did tell
I was so relieved
But now I'm not
Here's why
When we had to talk to the people
They didn't believe us
Apparently we were "changing the story"
It's not our fault you picked a shitty lawyer for us and failed to do the courts
And bring us in for another "interview" three years later
Obviously we're gonna forget some stuff and remember stuff we didn't before and say it
So don't throw the "your changing the story bull shit"
We never did the courts
Which means...
He's still out there
And I'm scared
How could you fucking leave the guy that molested, abused, and threatened an 8 year old girl and a 7 year old boy out in world free with probably another family to play his "games" with
How could you
And I've had dreams of him kidnapping me
Plenty of times
I'm scared
He left me paranoid
Scared
Uncomfortable
They act like this is a fucking game
It's not
It's just as bad as being raped or abused or kidnapped
What about this do you not understand
My family can't even touch it makes me uncomfortable just standing next to me
Especially boys
My fucking dad makes me uncomfortable
My dad
My own dad
Hope you burn in hell
Asshole
-Kiersten
Part two will be made either tonight or tomorrow
If it isn't
Just wait until I'm ready
