Middle School

Recognition

Achiever - noun
a person who achieves a high or specified level of success.

When I was seven, Achiever, Achieved, Achieve and Achieves is all I ever heard come out my mothers mouth whenever I did Anything. Whether it was under or over, I never heard the end of it. Once, I made french toast by myself when I was seven without her help, when originally we were supposed to make it together. It was the first time her words ever resonated with me, though times where I was "bullied" it felt similar; I remember the her words perfectly.

She said, "Oh, look at what you've "Achieved " you feel proud of yourself, huh? I swear if you ever pull something dumb like this again, I'll...I'll... You know what. Honestly, how are you in Honors classes and this dumb? Please tell. You could've burned the house down trying to watching those, those dumb YouTube videos. Hmm, they got must you believing you can fly too, huh?"

I chose not to respond, knowing it probably would have not ended well. When actually the night before she taught me how to make the recipe from scratch and even make a mixed berry syrup, so I decided to make it to surprise her, I used to try to just blame it on her "not remembering" but I always knew it was more than that. What I cannot believe is why my mom thought she could hide the fact she did drugs from me, because it was blatantly obvious... For a seven year old. Though, I mean there are drug abuse warnings all over town, researchers everyday are finding new substances that could be disguised as more common Opioids but, that's neither here nor there.

Most nights she would leave once she put me to bed then would come home usually between three or four am, but would have stuffed pillows in her bed sheets to make it seem as though she was in bed asleep. I knew my mother all to well to know she did not sleep silently. Sadly, that same night she came in from a high so bad. She told me to get out of her bed, but it wasn't her bed, it was mine. She even threatened to kill me if I did not get out of her house. So, I grabbed a blanket from the hall closet and a pillow from Her room, then proceeded to sleep outside the front door of our apartment. I would've slept on the balcony but she insisted on watching me walk out the house and close the door behind me. Tears slowly fell from my eyes as I heard the click of the door locking, even though I held my key in my hand I couldn't bear the thought of being in the same space with my mother.

Three years later from then, I started middle school. My mom wasn't even home that morning to take me to school. I was glad because having us in the same space is like having two male betta fish in a small fish bowl. Only part I was upset about is the fact I had to walk five miles to school, but I chose the faster way by running. Like I said, my mom always called me an overachiever but only on the "bad" things I did, that were actually right but were wrong to her. I get to school and luckily not a bead of sweat was on my body. There is side entrance with a sign for sixth graders and S.A.T.S and no not the test, that is like 200 years old but, still I couldn't be happier to know that I was really a Star student. 

Honestly, I can say when I told my mom I was applying to the "Scholars Above the Stars" program she seemed genuinely proud and maybe even happy for me. The program is based on learning about Space and the science behind everything in it. Then also preparing us to graduate high school early, go to college and then one day become a SER astronaut or work at NASA-SER facilities. I remember the day NASA-SER opened and the day NASA was overrun by alien diseases. 

The SER of NASA-SER means "Special Extraterrestrial Research" pronounced like "sir" by the way but, they are called that because there research is beyond anything Area-51 could do, or the pentagon or just NASA alone could even think about uncovering or discovering, while trying to figure out what was happening to the scientists. They started preparing programs as early as 10-11 because the elders who started NASA-SER were getting old and even some sick. I always wanted to be an astronaut but never though I could, with my mom spending most of her money on drugs I never thought I would have enough money to even think about going to college. When my mother finally turned her life around after getting caught in a drug deal, she got a really great job and started supporting me a lot more. Though, only in academics because she did not want me to end up like her however, I knew I never would but I guess its the fact she cared... Luckily, I recognize now, I should have never been this gullible.