Clocks//Stucky✔

Nine

"Sweetheart, you look a little tired, when did you last eat? Come in and make yourself right at home. Stay as long as you need."

Bucky had been awake for a few minutes, listening to Steve shuffle around the apartment before the music started.

It had been three days since Steve went out. He didn't come back that night, as Bucky expected.

Bucky only saw Steve for the past three days when the blond brought him some food. It's not that Bucky didn't like Steve at the moment, it's just that he was trying to sort out his feelings. Feelings that were completely foreign to him.

But he was ready to shove them into the depths of his mind. Feelings were dangerous, he had come to learn.

He cared for Aiandama and that got her killed. Bucky never wanted to experience that again. Especially with Steve.

Bucky ran his hands along his face dejectedly, his mind becoming foggy as he sat in his metaphorical rut. Then there was a knock on the door. Bucky found himself croaking out a small "come in."

"How are you, Buck?" Steve spoke once the door was open. He was holding a mug and a pink box with cartoon pandas on it. Bucky didn't reply. He just looked quizzically up at Steve. "Oh, yeah. Here." Steve handed Bucky the two items. In the mug was some chicken noodle soup, and the box was cookies filled with strawberry cream stuff.

"Thank you."

"No problem." There was a moment of silence between the two as Bucky picked up the spoon in the mug and took a small bite.

"Can we talk?" Steve broke the silence. "Well, you don't have to talk, but I wanna say a few things." He explained. Bucky simply nodded cautiously in return.

"Your eating habits kind of worry me, cause you're not getting enough food from what I see. And starving yourself is counterproductive because-"

"I'm not."

"What?"

"I'm not starving myself. Just used to not eating a lot." Bucky couldn't remember if HYDRA actually fed him anything. It was just thaw, mission, memory wipe, repeat.

"Sorry, yeah I'm probably worrying too much." Steve chuckled.

"It might take me a while to get used to this."

"I know, Buck. I want to help you. That's another thing I wanted to talk about. I want to help you adjust to modern life. But I feel like we are just growing more distant. Maybe it's because you don't remember anything that well, or because you're not comfortable around me anymore. If I did something wrong, I'm so sorry Bucky. And if it's-"

"Stop talking. You're putting thoughts in your head that aren't true." Bucky paused, taking in a deep breath.

"I'm scared of what I might do to you if... If something wakes it up again." Bucky gazed at his metal appendage. He didn't trust it.

"Bucky, you could never hurt me, okay?" Steve put his hand on the metal one, moving it and lacing their fingers together.

Bucky felt like he was having a panic attack, but not entirely. It was unpleasant- but it wasn't a feeling he wanted to last. So he tore his hand away.

"Sorry, Bucky. I went too far." Steve backed as far as he could on the bed without it being too obvious. But the assassin was observant and felt the bed shift.

"No, it's fine. I- I think I was having a panic attack, but I'm fine." He explained, hating when Steve felt guilty.

"Oh, you sure?" Bucky nodded. "That's good. So... oh, yeah. I wanted to ask you if you- since we're growing distant- I was wondering if you wanted to go out somewhere?" Bucky didn't answer, just gave Steve a confused, but mostly worried expression.

"Shit- too soon. I didn't think. I know you probably don't wanna go out in case something were to happen." Steve looked down at his hands.

Here Captain America was, acting like a 15-year-old asking his crush out on a date. He was nervous and Bucky felt responsible. He wanted to disappear.

"It's fine, Steve. We could go out..." Bucky wasn't sure he wanted to. He didn't sound certain either.

"No, I don't wanna force anything on you. We could stay in and watch a movie if you want? Or- or do something like when we were younger. You always liked to see my drawings, I could show you some?" Steve suggested.

"Or if you don't want to waste time with me, that's fine too." He added, his voice sending sadness into Bucky.

"I'd love to see your drawings."