"Why are you here, Bella?" my therapist asked as she crossed her legs.
"Could we just get to the point of why I'm here?" I said as I laid down onto the couch. I'm not in the mood today. Brian ruined my whole day, I'm done with the bullshit.
"Okay, Bella. How do you feel?" Ms. Wilson questioned as she gazed at me. "I feel so annoyed right now! My idiot brother's friend's girl, Geneva wanted to fight! So, as soon as I pulled the bitch's weave out she wants to go to the principal and wants to tell him that I so-called tried to kill her! Like bitch who do you think you're messing with?" I shouted while sitting back up to tell her the whole story.
"Hmm, what's your brother's friend's name?"
"Jahseh. He has depression and-" She immediately cut me off. "And anxiety. Yes, I know, he's one of my patients," Ms. Wilson nodded.
"So, how does your depression harm you?"
"My depression is like... I don't feel anything like I'm numb. When something good happens I don't feel anything. I may smile, but I'm just pretending. When something bad happens I feel nothing. It's like my life's a lie you know?"
"Can I leave NOW?" I shouted while getting up. My mom forced me to come here, I hate therapy.
I opened the door and saw Jahseh. We met each other's eyes and I stomped past him.
***
I was in the studio with Stokeley, Jahseh, and some random other DJs I haven't heard about. They decided to make a fresh new song.
"After this can we get some MacDonalds I'm fucking hungry," I complained as the DJs started laughing.
Jahseh gave me a death stare. Ski seized my sleeve and dragged me into the hall of the studio.
"Bella, could you try not to make me look like a fucking idiot!" Ski whispered-yelled at me.
"Nigga, I didn't even hear about these damn DJs. You all trying to look tough and shit!" I yelled at him.
"Then I'll explain it to you. The meaty nigga right there, that's Kevin Serando. He's a gang leader and a DJ on the side-"
"So you telling me that DJ Khaled looking ass is a gang leader?" I vociferated at Ski.
"Yes, that DJ Khaled looking motherfucker is a gang leader. He earns $9,900,000 a month," Ski pronounced.
"Like I care, nigga? They're people like us, money doesn't mean a thing. It's heart, I'm leaving."
"What why?" He asked me. "Because! These people make more money than me and I'm still broke and living at my mama's house, idiot," I declared unmistakably.
"But you just said... nevermind. Alright, fine then. Bye! I'll tell Jahseh you're leaving,"
"Don't bother. Tell him it was a surprise. Also, if he asks if I left or not, record that shit. That means he cares about me, AND you better believe I'm posting that shit," I said while turning around.
I glided down the hall when I happened to see Jahseh. Our shoulders touched and I didn't hear any more footsteps.
I turned around and Jahseh pinned me against the wall, he put his hand around my neck and tightened his grip. "Don't ever fucking touch me again,"
"What if I do nigga?" I asked maliciously. He hardened his grip even more, "I will kill you, you hear me?"
I was silent. "Do you understand?" he shouted at me.
"Obviously not, I didn't respond, dumbass," I choked out as he left his grip on my neck.
"Drake's better than you, nigga!" is all I said before I felt a really bad sting on my face. I could see pitch black and before I knew... I think I'm dead?
HOLD ON... DID THAT NIGGA HIT ME? IM ABOUT TO BEAT HIS ASS!
***
I sat up in somebody's room. It's pink? This got to be my main bitches, Kayla and Trish! I looked around and saw Kayla sleeping.
"Trish! You here, bitch?" I yelled I heard nothing. "She's at an interview. Now shut the fuck up I'm tryna' get some beauty sleep," Kayla grumbled at me.
"Now you know you haven't been getting 'beauty sleep' in 100 years bitch," I argued chuckling.
"I'm older so I got more responsibility in this relationship, hoe," Kayla said as she stood up.
"No, since you're older you're gonna have saggier boobs than me. You're also gonna die first so ha!" I agreed.
"Damn. That's a little harsh don't you think?"
"No!" I yelled. "Is there any food in here?" I asked her as she got on her phone.
"Do you have any food in here money?" Kayla claimed sarcastically. "Now you know I don't have no damn job,"
***
"Hey, ma!" I yelled waiting for her response.
"Hey! How your day?" she replied.
"Stupid,"
"Did you get in a fight?" she asked me.
"No?"
"Then what's that on your neck?"
"It's an uh... hickey," I said embarrassed.
"Uh huh, is it that boy, Jahseh?"
"No! Ew, he's fucking stupid,"
"Watch your mouth,"
"Bitches is pressed, administer mouth to mouth," I rapped snickering. (i think i got those lyrics fucked up :))
I went upstairs into my room quickly and lied down. I'm just gonna go to asleep. I went to sleep as I closed my eyes.
YOU ARE READING
A N X I E T Y || xxxtentacion
Fanfiction"I hate you," he said grabbing my wrist. "I love you too,"
