My RAP song about my life

Alot of people say that having your heart broken is like someone ripping your heart out of your chest...but it is so much more than that... having your heart broken, feels like someones trying to rip your heart wherever they have access to it. They beat u in the stomach they rip at your throat, they pound on your head, they claw at your skin, but eventually, ripping your heart straight outta ur chest is the the only option so they do it. They rip it to shreds and just bc its no longer in your body doesn't mean u dont feel all of this at full intensity. The pain becomes overwhelming so u scream and cry at the hurt that is happening to u. Everywhere. Everything hurts... He never really loved me........ He acted maybe pretended everything was about me but when he looked at me his eyes changed to that other hoe who showed her ass to the world and played that oh i'm a virgin card and when i finally stood up and told him to fuck off he came running back like i was his one and only he just cried like a lil baby and said i love you.... But did he really no he can kiss my ass because i'm fuckin FED UP WITH HIS SHIT!!! Just gonna sit there and watch me burn but that's alright cuz i love the way it hurts just gonna stand there and hear me cry but that's alright bc i love the way u lie i love the way u lie

I cant tell what it really is i can only tell u what it feels like

And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe i cant breathe but it still fight while i can still high off love drunk from your hatred 

Its like i'm huffing paint and i love it the more i suffer Baby, please come back

It wasn't you, baby it was me

Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems

Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano

All I know is I love you too much to walk away though

Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk

Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk

Told you this is my fault

Look me in the eyeball

Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the drywall

Next time? There won't be no next time!

I apologize even though I know it's lies

I'm tired of the games I just want him back

I know I'm a liar

If he ever tries to leave me again

I'mma tie him to the bed and set this house on fire

I'm just gonna stand here in the mirror asking myself what I did wrong that made him want to leave when i did nothing wrong. And I just ask myself what happened... what happened you believed her instead of me... I loved you she just said she loved you with a big mouth full of lies why did you love her more than you would have loved me. I wanted to grow a family with you have a happy ever after and know I can be myself without you judging me. I truly loved you with everything I was and would have been. I didn't know what love was until I met you now that you left me with that other girl.... Life doesn't seem right anymore I'm not myself. I've become quiet and depressed everything I do the memories burn my in my mind, everytime I see a couple together I just think what we had in our pasts... She was so much more gorgeous, she had everything that I didn't have beautiful eyes, a bigger heart, your smiles were twice as wide as ours. Your love was bigger than ours was ever. Do you like doing this to me making me jealous to really know what love was when I felt it? Is it because you thought that she was better than I was? I don't understand we have been through so much together. Did you should throw it away and forget like it was like I was nothing to you. You walk past me in the hallway you look at me with those beautiful eyes like I seen everyday you just look at me and roll your eyes concentrate on your group of friends coming towards you. The thought of you running through my mind every second of day I try not to think about you but the memories of 'US' just won't go away. You said that even if we are apart you will always love me, it doesn't seem like that anymore.I thought you loved me don't you?  I know I wasn't the most beautiful girl you put your heart out to I know I was perfect like you wanted me to be even though I knew them u told me I was the most gorgeous girl you have ever seen your life the who had the sweetest heart/soul you have ever met the girl who has the most beautiful eyes you have ever seen the most perfect body you ever wanted to touch. Is that all you wanted from me was to touch me in ways others girls let you and I didn't? Is that why you left? Told me to go get a life and stay out of yours, I tried making you happy just by being myself putting my heart out to you letting you know everything secret everyone else didn't know about  me. I told you everything about me that all my friends didn't know about me. He made me feel like I was worth living he made me feel like everything I wanted to feel.. But he just threw that away like it was nothing. I thought he loved me but every he told me I guess was a lie. Everything that he was... Was everything I have wanted but he told me that I was perfect in everyway but not right for him..... I just wanted to commit suicide thinking that was the best choice doing it so he could live longer than me. I didn't go to school for about a week because I couldn't see his face I just broke down everytime I did or every time I thought about his name. But did he care no he didn't. I just listen to music that made me think of him all the week I wasn't there watching him love someone better than I could have ever... He changed me he changed because we had our ups and downs but we made it through but last time he cheated was the last time I knew I had enough of his bullshit and I couldn't handle him do it ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!! And I was just done.... the pain I put myself through was terrible but even more so terrible because of the pain I went through to get him back but it didn't work. I still dream of him every night wishing he was still mine wishing I still heard the words I have always wanted to hear 'I love you babygirl and always will'  he still stares at him in science class like he wants me back I just ignore him letting him know I can that I have lived about a week without him. I hope he understands that I struggle every single day knowing I can't walk down the hallways not holding his hand, knowing I can't make his friends jealous kissing him him in front of them just thinking about his lips on mine gives me chills and butterflies in my stomach gives me that feeling I can't explain that I haven't had with anyone else. Is it bad that I just wish he was mine again? Is it bad I told him that I'm still in love with him? I just want to cry and break down but I don't want anyone else seeing my pain seeing how much I still love him... Is that a terrible thing? Well I'll tell you understand that love can hurt it'll rip you apart  but it can also be quit beautiful and amazing and it's also patient and kind. You can't wish something you want really bad to come to you, you go chase it, it don't happen on its own go chase what you love not what you wish would happen and it never does because you didn't let it happen. You see... you don't need him your happier without him, just ignore that haters they belong your past not your future. Be happy your perfect just the way you are don't let haters get you down on what you want or is planning on or what you love.                                 

                                                                                                        - Sincerely, to everyone who reads this........ 

                                                                           *Elizabeth Gabriella O'Berry !!!!!*