Short Stories

Money Maker

'What the actual fuck is that?' I think as I stare at the corner of my room. I vaguely feel my backpack strap slide off my shoulder, but ignore it considering I'm staring at a giant sparkling egg sitting in the middle of my bed. Immediately, I shift into a fighting stance and look around the room. This thing had to have come from someone and they might still be here.

I was too tired to pay attention to my surroundings when I first walked into my apartment, but now I'm wide awake and I'll be damned if I let this weirdo leave. First of all, this is breaking and entering, second of all I have a ton of questions; who sneaks into another person's house to leave something there? What's in the egg? Why did they bring it here? Who thought it would be a good idea to leave something obviously valuable in an apartment in such a poor neighborhood? Thoughts swirl through my head as I look around my tiny one-room apartment.

Staying perfectly still my eyes glide slowly around the room in search of anything out of place, finally resting on the door to the bathroom. Careful not to make any noise, I make my way over to the wooden bat next to my bed and pick it up anticipating the worst. I pick up my backpack from the ground and drop it onto my bed to sound as if I had sat down and cautiously begin to tiptoe over to my bathroom. Reaching the door, I softly push myself into the wall to make myself as invisible as possible to the likely intruder behind the door. 'This is it Dominica, there is a big chance someone is hiding behind this door, so just go in there and no sane person will be willing to mess with a desperate, now jobless, bat swinging lunatic. GO FOR IT!'

On that happy thought, I slam the door open, hoping that if there was someone behind the door it would hit them and disorient them enough to buy myself some time. Quickly looking around the tiny closet-like space, bat raised ready to strike, I see no one. Lowering the weapon, I think to myself 'huh. That's strange.' 'I guess the person must have already left?' As I stand there a bit dumbfounded, I remember why I was so freaked out to begin with and turn around to confront the "elephant in the room" or in this case, the egg. Walking back over to the egg I raise my hand holding the bat and gently poke it just out of instinctual curiosity to see what would happen.

Nothing. Lowering the weapon, I internally debate over what I should do now. 'There's no one here, and I still have some giant sparkly egg in the middle of my bed. I'm super tired and don't want to deal with this now but it could be a bomb... at this point in my life though why not. I lost my job, I'm penniless, and I'm in debt. The world is falling apart at the seams and we're already almost out of natural resources on this planet so might as well die early before the world delves into a nuclear war. I'm way too tired for this.' Making my decision I carefully pick up the ginormous egg, almost dropping it because 'I did not expect this to be so heavy oh my gosh' and lay it on the ground at the foot of my bed near my backpack, then just climb into my bed to sleep because today has been rough and hopefully when I wake up the egg will be gone... or maybe not because that would mean someone came in to take it while I was sleeping and I don't need that sort of anxiety in my life right now. Plugging my phone into my charger I pull up my covers feeling myself drifting off.

***

Waking up to my toothbrush on fire was not how I thought this day would start. I honestly do not know what I was expecting, but it certainly was not the tiny colorful creature curled up in a ball on the ground next to my aflame toothbrush. Blinking once. Twice. I finally decide to slap myself across the face. This is too weird, and I am obviously just delusional from sleeping and need to wake the fuck up before I cause any real damage to myself or my pathetic apartment. At the sound of my slap the creature picks its head up and starts to wag its tail before fully standing on its four legs. I find myself unable to do anything than just stare right back at this tiny being because 'holy shit this is real I just slapped myself and it's still here, so this is really happening what the f' interrupting my thoughts, the lizard looking animal opens its mouth and makes a noise that sounds like a yawn but honestly I do not know. The fire coming out of its mouth throws me off a bit and at this point I just sigh, squat down so I'm closer to eye level with this thing and ask it "what the fuck are you?'

The what I have concluded is a lizard just looks at me with its eyes big and tail shifting back and forth behind it. After a few seconds the lizard (that I now notice has what looks like wings growing from its back????) lift its nose into the air and starts sniffing. Shifting a bit, the lizard-bird seems to lock onto a scent and beings to scuttle towards my worn-down chair before hopping up onto the seat and then diving, head first, into the space between the cushion and armrest. I'm too shocked still to do anything but watch. After a few seconds it pulls it's head out with a quarter between its teeth. Seemingly satisfied, it scurries back over to me and lifts its head towards me as if offering the coin. Now my dumbfounded ass has no idea what to do, but not wanting to anger the fire breathing lizard bird, I cautiously reach out and grab the coin from between it's teeth and pull my hand away.

'I've been thinking of this thing as a fire breathing lizard bird but that is pretty much the description of a dragon... huh.' The dragon (that feels weird and unnatural to think) looks wistfully at the coin for a moment before hurrying away to my backpack and shifting around inside of it. I am seriously lost right now. I have no grasp on reality and cannot comprehend the situation.

"There is a dragon inside of my backpack. Where did a fucking dragon come from?". Remembering my dilemma from the night before, I shift my gaze to right beside my backpack and notice that the egg has hatched. 'There was a dragon egg on my bed last night. I have a dragon in my... nope it's gone." My heart skips a beat and I begin to frantically look around the room for the colorful nuisance. Feeling something at my feet I look down only to discover the dragon with my wallet in its hands.