Little Book Of One Shots

HarleyXjoker: DC

Joker meets bud and lou for the first time

Harley's POV
Harley glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall. Ten minutes until her puddin would be home. He was out tonight on a big job battling with the Bat but he had forced her to stay at home so that when he got back he would have dinner waiting for him.
"Honestly.....I'm not a god dam slave....He should learn howda cook for once....Oh well.....we have a little surprise for him don't we....that'll teach him not ta leave me behind..." Harley muttered under her breath.
She was cleaning up the lounge as her and J had had a big argument before he left. Lots of things had been thrown ( mostly by J)

Suddenly she heard a small whimper from the corner of the room.
" it's ok babys, mummy's here, shh......i gotcha".
Harley practically leaped over the sofa and threw herself into the corner to cuddle two small balls of fur that were now licking her face as she giggled helplessly.
"Oh did ya miss mummy..?" Harley cooed at them.
Without a warning the pups cuddled into her and pushed her backwards into the table behind them, resulting in her head being being bashed against it.
"Owie..." Harley wined as she rubbed her head, there would defiantly be a bruise there tommorow. However, the pups kept licking her and nuzzeling into her.
"Ok ok ok enough now....mummy has to go and doll herself up before daddy gets home ok babys.. mummy has to make a good impression so that daddy will let you stay with us..k?"
She tried to detatch herself from them , stood up and turned on her six inch heels towards her bedroom. The pups looked folornly at her but soon started to chew the carpet. Harley was too exited to introduce her babies to her puddin that she didn't care about how much trouble she was going to get in to.

Once she was in their room she applied her signature blue and pink eye shadow and put on the Joker's favourite dark red lipstick. She put her hair up into her two bunches and left out her two bangs on the sides of her face. Now all that was left as to pick out a dress that would make J's eyes pop out when he saw her. How hard can that be.
"Not that, not that, not that, too tacky, too small, too black, not right, not right, no, no, no, no, no, no" Harley murmered as she viciously threw dresses out of her wardrobe and onto the bed. Suddenly she heard a car pull up outside. J was home.

Joker's POV
J growled to himself as he looked at the seat beside him. His purple Lamborghini raced through the night as he was determined to get home as soon as possible. Harley had realy pissed him off this morning which had resulted in him giving her a harsh slap across the face and she had been left with finger sized bruises littering her neck. He had felt something in his chest when he saw the look of betrail in her eyes but he shook it off.

He glanced down at the seat beside him. On it was a small black box, about the size of the palm of his hand. Why he had bought it he didn't know. Maybe it was a regret gift, maybe he was realy getting attached to her.....
" no, no, no god dammit Joker just shut up!" J shouted at himself, the box wasn't a regret gift was it...

He had felt a bit bad for lying to Harley about going to battle the Bat. He really had gone out and bought her a silver necklace with the letter J on it so that he might be able to make peace with her.
" Just one nice thing might have me forgiven and all i have to do is say 'daddy forgives you for pissing him off' she will day 'sorry daddy' and I will have her eating out of my palm again in no time" J laughed at his genius.

A couple of minutes later the Joker pulled into the back ally to their hideout. He could see that the lights were on but he couldn't smell any cooking. His eyes narrowed.
"What's going on...."
Suddenly he heard an ear splitting shriek...
"HARLEY!"

Harley's POV
"NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!" Harley screamed as the sight of the living room met her eyes.
She had finally chosen a tight fitting red and black dress that came down to her thighs and ran downstairs to meet J when her stomach dropped out and through the floor into Australia. The pups had eaten up the carpet, knocked all the crockery off the shelves that she had just put back and they had thoroughly ripped up the leather sofa that J had literally threatened never to speak to her again when she spilled her drink on it.
"God no no no no why........I am dead I am so dead....I may as well go and just dig myself a death hole.....God......uuhhhh!!!!" Harley cried as she ran over to the the kitchin in a pitterful attempt to try to sweep up the shards of china with her hands and try to wressal a piece of carpet out of one of the furballs' mouths. She heard the door slam.