My perception of life and how it's changed.

My Perception of Life and How it Has Changed

Now there are many ways in which a person can perceive life in this world. As an existential crisis occurs in most thinking peoples' lives, we are shaped into the people we will become and likely remain. In my coming up, this was not the case. I was a developing thirteen year old who began to contemplate and understand the world around me as it truly was; as the innocence and naivety began to wane.

To my knowledge at the time, life was brimming with nothing more than vacuous individuals who were selfish: and as I lived negatively, I became full of hatred and utterly disgusted with mankind. In those teenage years, I knew what I had wanted to see of mankind. I wanted only to see the populous destroyed in any fashion necessary. My hatred was fueled with other negative influences, I turned to music and individuals who shared my same views and values. Cynicism and nihilism was what I felt on a daily basis. Never did I feel compassion and positivity because I felt like it was not necessary; I felt like the smartest person wherever I went.

This obviously was not true. Being eighteen years of age now, I am beginning to perceive life differently. I assume because puberty is now not a variable which affects my moods and attitude towards life. I now see that my outlook compared from then to now has changed exponentially. My prejudicial sentiments are shifting and I'm changing into somebody who I never wanted to be. Nor did I ever imagine such a change in myself. I found myself not minding this change as time would progress.

Happiness was the most significant change in myself. Life, which used to minimally positive, had now become hardly negative. Friends had become important and comforting in presence. More recently, a significant other has introduced a different category of happiness, comfort, and hope. To be honest with you and I, hope was a hard commodity to acquire and sustain without failure.

That's not to say that I have not experienced periods of doubt and possibly immense sadness throughout the changes in my perception of life and reality as a whole. Of course there are moments or days where I am unhappy and feel hopeless. However, my overall positivity surpasses and exceeds my negativity most days. All in all, my familiar and constant negativity through my early teenage years has transformed into constant happiness: which I can not complain about.