Look At The Mess I've Made

I Lose All Hope And I'm Afraid

A light flicks on, and I help when I realize that Joel is standing right in front of me, leaning in close to my face and smiling evilly. I hear Bel crying out, the sounds of her struggling against whatever he has her tied up with reaching my ears. Joel slips on his mask, his eyes glittering with happiness and insanity, as he turns to face Bel. I catch sight of her now, she's trying to see around her blindfold. Her arms and legs are bound to a rectangular frame, each limb attached to a corner. I am saddened by the fact that she now is only wearing her undergarments, her regular clothes lay in a heap beside the frame. I watch Joel walk around behind her, his footsteps nearly silent. He reaches up and undoes her blindfold, the fabric falling to the floor. Her beautiful hazel eyes are clouded with terror, tears spilling from her lashes. She doesn't see me at first, but when she does, she begins sobbing.

"Oh, Ahren... what's he done to you? Your face..." she stumbles on her words, and her terror is contagious. My heart racing, I beg for her life.

"Please don't do this, you don't need to hurt her too. I'll cooperate, I don't care if you torture me in a long, slow death... just please don't touch her..." My voice is incredibly raspy, and cracks every few syllables. Joel only cackles as he raises the Knout, the spikes in it still bloody from my own back. He gives her no warning before he snaps his wrist and the crack of the knout hitting her skin echoes through the air. Her scream is bloodcurdling, and I begin crying even more. He repeats this action, every lash bringing forth another scream from Bel. I can't stand to watch, but my eyes are glued to the bloody scene. Joel hits her a few more times before he sees how torn up I am. An unknown expression flashes across his eyes, but he hides it by turning his head. He puts the knout away, and I watch as he picks up something similar to it. This device, while still a strip of leather with metal pieces in it, also features two heavy metal hoops, one halfway down the whip and one at the end.

"This, this is what I wouldn't use on you before. It's the great knout, and it was used for criminals that the officials didn't care if they lived or not. These metal hoops, are dense and sturdy enough to break bone. The people that fell to this, usually died from a broken spine, or a rib puncturing some various vital organ. Survival rate for a punishment of 100 lashes with the Great Knout was close to 0. Tonight, Bel, your sentence is 150 or until you are dead. Ahren, yours is to watch." Joel says, and picks up a small knife. He cuts the corners of Bel's lips, and picks up the great knout again.

Within the first two hits, she bears The Grin.

Within the first twenty, ribs snap.

By lash 38, she is almost unconscious, there's a loud pop as her spine is broken.

By lash 53 she is gone.

I cry out, fighting against my bonds as Joel lowers the Great Knout. I am delirious, wailing for Bel and cursing at Joel with tears streaming down my face. Joel removes his mask, and begins untying Bel's too still body. He only unties her feet before picking up the small knife and carving into her, no care for how deep he cuts as it is clear she is already gone. When he steps away, the words on her stomach are clear.

"OBEY THE GRIN"

I cry out again, struggling to get to her as he unties her wrists. Her body crumples to the floor, her torso twisted strangely. Joel grabs a handful of her hair, dragging the body out of the room and out of my sight. I feel the fight leave me as it hits me what has just happened.

Joel returns to find me staring at the puddle of Bel's blood on the floor, completely lost in a catatonic state, tears streaming down my face and stinging my mangled cheeks. I barely register him untying me, don't notice him trying to get my attention. He says something, and the next thing I know I am in the same bed as before, not sure how I got there. My arm isn't cuffed like it was before, but I don't try to run or move. I stare at the wall, occasionally sleeping, being tortured by Joel on a daily basis.

In a messed-up way, I use the torture to gauge how long I have been stuck with him. He doesn't try to get me to talk, I haven't talked in the last 29 torture sessions. He tries to feed me, but I won't eat. I don't want to live without Bel.

Joel seems to cycle through stages of intense hate and anger, which he usually takes out on me, and being insanely caring. I know that when one starts, the other will be back at some point, without fail. I haven't noticed him killing anyone else though, and the caring stages are lasting longer lately. I don't know what's happening, I just want him to slip up and accidentally go too far one day. I just want this to end.

A/N: sorry for the short chapter, I have been prewriting like crazy and my chapter splits aren't always going to be ideal. I do have someone helping me figure these things out though, they're the first person that sees what I have written so they can tell me if it's at all coherent haha. You should go check them out, their Wattpad is amemorymisread and they're an amazing person that deserves so much support. I may put another chapter up later today or tomorrow, depending on if I can get the one I am prewriting done (y'all may think I only have the next one prewritten but I have just started Chapter 7 hehe... you guys are gonna either love me or hate me after these go up.)