The Widow's Wish

Chapter 12

“Is Mr. Brown in?” Olivia enquired.

The secretary, a young man with kind brown eyes seemed shocked at Olivia’s appearance. He begged her to have a seat and offered some tea, which she took while she waited for Mr. Brown to see her. The solicitor, an older gentleman of a stout nature with gray hair that was thinning on top, offered Olivia a large smile, despite what she was sure was her quite terrible appearance.

“I did not expect to see you so soon, Miss Martin.” Mr Brown proffered. “I knew that Mr. Blackwell was going to share the good news with you quite soon, but I had no idea I would see you so soon, but no matter, we can sign the papers today. John, can you bring me the file for Miss Martin.”

“Christian? You saw Christian. What about papers? Has something happened to my mother? Or my sisters?” Olivia shook her head in confusion.

“Oh my,” Mr Brown shrugged. “Mr. Blackwell did not speak with you?”

“We could not meet. There was an impediment. What papers are you speaking of?”

“Well the annulment papers, of course, Miss Martin. All that is required is your signature, and then your marriage to Mr. Hightower will be dissolved. Mr. Blackwell was most excited on the prospect of your freedom.”

“Annulment papers?” Olivia’s voice croaked, and she began to cry.

“Oh, now Miss Martin, don’t cry.” Mr. Brown stood, offering his handkerchief to Olivia and patting her on the shoulders. “I cannot imagine how you have suffered. Mr. Hightower used you quite ill, marrying you to escape scandal, and then falsfying documents related to his death. Why, it was quite a shock seeing the man alive, and he was lucky the courts and the constable did not charge him with a crime for his fraudulent activities. That he was willing to procure the annulment and settle a good sum upon you for your suffering was punishment, I suppose, but not enough.”

Olivia could not stop crying. Somehow, Christian had tracked down Daniel and convinced him to leave his happy life with John to return to London, under the threat of exposure and scandal, simply to free Olivia from a contract she had willingly entered. That he had done all of this so that she could be free. So that he could do the honorable thing and make her his wife, legal and true, the way she only wished it could be. Her heart broke. Her sobs, however, soon subsided, and she took another cup of tea, and signed the papers silently, nodding as Mr. Brown explained that she would be free to marry Mr. Blackwell when she liked, and that the increase in her wealth and property, for Daniel had left her an apartment in town, would be a good location for her to help resettle her family once matters were settled with her father, all trying to keep her emotions from spilling out. She wanted to tear her hair out. She wanted to scream. Or cry or shout or something. But she merely nodded. And when Mr. Brown insisted upon hiring a coach to take her home (as she had walked an unthinkable distance) she agreed, and returned silently to her house, clutching the letter Daniel had left addressed to her with Mr. Brown close to her chest.

It was not until she was alone in her room that she took the letter and opened it:

Dear Olivia,

I am sorry that I could not stay long enough in London to tell you these words in person. I know that you believe that you entered marriage with me with your eyes opened. You were selfless in your willingness to aid John and I having the ability to find happiness and peace with each other. I know, however, that I abused of your kindness and also of your desperation. You are young, and your only thoughts were on your mother and your sisters. You saw in me an opportunity, and I fully took advantage of that. It was selfish of me to not think of you. To not think that perhaps you could want a true marriage someday. Or that you would suffer because of my actions.

I know now that I cannot live in peace knowing that you were not free. It is thanks to Mr. Blackwell that I have come to this realization. He helped me to see that you did not deserve to be alone or to suffer from association with my scandal. He has helped me and I thank him most profoundly. I lived much of my life in cowardice, in fear of what people would say of me. I caused those who loved me or cared for me to suffer due to lies and my inability to face up to the truth. My sister, my mother and finally even you could not live full and happy lives, with your concerns so wrapped up in my problems.

I am setting you free, and asking your forgiveness. You were merely a girl of eighteen, with a sad story that haunted her, who wanted to do a good thing for me and perhaps secure  a means of helping her beloved mother and sisters escape a terrible fate. I am a man of six and thirty years, and I had knowledge and experience and I took advantage of your naievete. You were a true friend to me, and all that I can offer you now as thanks and as a payment to the debt I owe you, material comfort and freedom.

You deserve love and freedom Olivia. I can see that you will be happy with Christian. Though his status in society is tenuous, and his reputation was not a good one, I was surprised on meeting him how he is more of a gentleman than most legitimate ones I have ever known. His love for you and his determination that you be free and find happiness together is proof to me that I am doing the right thing, and that you and he will be happy together.

I regret I could not share this with you in person. John remained on the coast of France in the little home we have built together. We are comfortable, and happy together there, free from the scrutiny of the ton. John sends his love. I wish that you and Christian will have all the happiness in the world.

With Love,

Daniel

Olivia crumpled the letter to her chest and the tears flowed freely. Christian had gone through all this effort. He went to track down Daniel and to convince him to take the actions so that she could find freedom with him. All of this work to have the chance to be with her, and on the very night he left, she was untrue to him. It was too late now. There was no going back in time and undoing what had been done. She placed her hand on her abdomen. She would not blame her child. It was her doing, and Andrew’s as well. She was the one who would suffer for her foolishness.

Even though she should not have any hope, Olivia was surprised to find that she did. A certain lightness came over her once she had the knowledge that her ties to Daniel were no longer entangling her future. The thought that all of Christian’s effort was for nothing, due to their current estrangement gave her a bitter sad feeling, but she still felt free. She held onto her love and her hope, and drifted into a dreamless sleep.