lovely

1 - pilot

It was the start of a new year. Not only a new year, but the start of ninth grade. High school. A new chapter, a chance to start fresh. Not that I was that interested in starting fresh. I would much rather everything stay the same. I had friends, I was pretty ahead in school, everything was great. Not to mention Emily. My best friend, as well as the girl I may just have a teeny crush on.. Sure, people always say, don't fall for your best friend, and in the movies it always ends in complete disaster. But this was different, there was no way I was going to do anything about it. I was in the closet and there was no way I was coming out of it for a long time. Between my semi homophobic parents who just didn't seem to understand, and  not wanting to ruin my whole school career, it seemed to be the safer choice. No matter how much stress hiding it put me under. I think i had been talking about Emily. Shes so lovely. And I swear I get butterflies every time I see her. But I wouldn't want to act on it. I was 98% sure that she was straight anyways.

"Margot!" I heard Emilys voice behind me, smiling a little before turning to face her as we hugged. We had hung out quite a bit over the summer of course, but it was still nice seeing her again. I always liked seeing her. 

"You're still looking cute as always." she rolls her eyes and laughs, scanning over my outfit. It took me a while to choose it. I actually spent all last night trying to figure something decent out. So, yeah.. Maybe a bit longer than a while. I listen to her compliment and mumble a quiet thank you, trying to not let myself go crazy over a mere compliment. 

"Oh- Yeah uh- You look nice too. Really nice." I spit out and smile, trying to pretend that wasn't one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. Can't wait to think about that at 3 am when I can't sleep since I'm too busy questioning everything ever. 

She laughs a bit and shrugs. I had almost forgotten how pretty her laugh was since the last time we hung out. I swear I'm not obsessed with this girl. "We should go in." She says, tilting her head slightly. "Tristan is inside" she giggles giddily. "I think I'm finally getting somewhere with him." Right, there was also Tristan. Emily and him have been an off and on thing since the sixth grade when he asked her to the schools dance. She either hates him or is completely in love with him, there is no n between. But its fine. Its not like I'm jealous or anything.

"Tristan's kind of a jerk but okay." I frown a bit, accidentally rolling my eyes. It was the truth. I mean, he was such an fboy. Even if Emily didn't wanna admit it. I knew anything I say couldn't stop us from going to see Tristan, so we made our way into the school, walking next to each other.

"He is definitely not a jerk. At the grad party we were pretty much all over each other! And he really is sweet." She rolls her eyes and nudges me. When she said they were all over each other, it really meant they had kissed in a sad game of spin the bottle. Which i didn't have any part in. I actually haven't had my first kiss yet. Which some people found shocking but I guess I'm just not that interested

"Right cause a peck on the lips is all over each other." I laugh and glance around as we walked in. Sure enough, Emily saw Tristan before me running over to him as he pulls her in for a hug. It looked like a nice hug at least. I frowned. Instead looking around for anyone I knew that would actually talk to me or who I would enjoy talking to. But of course, no one came. I instead made my way to get a locker, shoving my way too expensive lock onto one that seemed to be in a decent spot. My dad had offered to take me to get things to hang in it, but I had kindly refused since I had a huge fear of judgement. Even after my refusals, he ended up getting me a little magnetic whiteboard, which he had sprawled 'Margot' across in messy cursive writing. 

I glanced back and forth through the halls, smiling a bit before quickly hanging up the whiteboard on the door and turning around to leave, immediately bumping into a tall boy, taller than me at least. I recognized him as soon as I looked up at his face. 

"What do you want Nate?" I sigh raising an eyebrow. Nate had and I'm pretty sure still has a crush on me since the seventh grade. In eight he found out I was a lesbian when he was dared to kiss me and I freaked out, he couldn't get it through his thick skull why any girl wouldn't want to kiss him. Long story short he had asked if i was into girls or something, jokingly. But me of course, hadn't taken it as a joke and got too awkward about it. I should've just let him kiss me without panicking, even though I really, really didn't want to. He's the type of guy who gets turned on by the idea of girls together. Plus he had cheated on his last girlfriend. Really, he was just a shitty person all together. 

"Hey Margot. You look hot today." He grins, pronouncing the T just to annoy me. "What was your summer like, I haven't seen you since the grad party." It was true. But I didn't really care too much for meeting up with him over the summer. 

"Nate..  It was good. But uh- I have class, so I need to go." I say quickly, stepping to the side to get around him. But of course, he had copied me. Blocking my way.

"Already? Class doesn't start for like another five minutes. Was your summer shit or something? You, like, never want to talk to me" He frowns and tilts his head. I swear, this boy can't take a hint.

"I don't want to be late." I frown, looking up at him. I guess I could see why girls were all over him, appearance wise. I would never understand any other reason they had to even talk to this boy. I was really hoping I didn't have any classes with him for at lest this semester, and if I was lucky ever. 

"Fine then, don't answer my question" He rolls his eyes and steps out of my way. It literally felt like a weight being lifted off my shoulders. I made my way down the hall and up to my first class which was English of course. I didn't mind writing and grammar, but it definitely wasn't one of my favorites. I clutch the strap of my bag, running my finger over the fabric as I walk into the class. My teacher had put our names on the board where we would sit. I sigh and match my name to a desk, taking my seat. The girl who was supposed to sit next to me was called Yvette, but she wasn't here yet. Which was fine by me, since I had never met her and wasn't interested in meeting anyone new just yet anyways. 

So this was high school. I mean, it couldn't be that bad I guess...