Coherent Thoughts, Who?

Drabble-o-rama

Okay, so, I have a lot of thoughts that nyoom through my head all day (as I'm sure you do too), and I (as well as some of my school friends) thought it would be cool to post those thoughts online. I will be sharing our take on some of the most boring and minuscule shiTE to ever be shitted. Here goes: (I have a lot of cursing in this one but I was on Mountain Dew/ Black Coffee - the best ship to ever sail. This canon is the highlight of my day)

My dog is the smartest ass to ever sass on this planet and no one (I'm lookin' at you Odysseus) can ever tell me otherwise. This gown-ass wimp of a dog is terrified, and I mean straight up terrified of anything and anyone. Right now I can hear her whining cause' a leaf blew too fast past her. But this dog, this goddamn dog, weighs near 80 pounds and is about 1 and half feet tall on four legs. Lemme put it this way, my dog is huuUUuge. So anyways, my family is used to her antics and we see her as this lil pup who's a gigantic baby. And we're just playing around with her, when some of my extended family come over with their itsy-bitsy, fluffy, literal marshmallow for a doggy who weighs maybe 20 pounds. Now, this is before we got my dog properly trained, and you'll know why in just a sec, and my extended family had never come over with their dog before so we weren't really prepared. But we thought, hey, our dog is a complete wimp, what could go wrong. What could go wrong? What could gO WRONG?? As soon as my dog saw that white fluffernutter of a dog-o, she sized him up, saw that she has about that same size for fuckin' breakfast and the game. Was. On. ZWOOSH. MY GIGANTIC ASS DOG WHO IS ABOUT THE SIZE OF KING-FUCKING-KONG COMPARED TO THIS LITTLE ASS WEINER THING DECIDES TO GIVE CHASE AROUND THE FUCKITY DUCKITY HOUSE FOR A LIGHT BRUNCH. THE FUCK. And that was when my family learned the importance that while my dog may seem like a stupid-scaredy-cat who is afraid of the wind, when she sees food, she sees food. And may someone have mercy on whomever that dog decides is food because good luck against fucking King Kong.

I love it when you're feeling down and then you grab like an apple to eat and you feel like, "hey, its an apple, what the fuck is this gonna do," and then surprise the fuck out bitch this motherfuckin zesty spice of life landed into your mouth with Ninja-fuckin-turtle ass quality and you are suddenly on par with meme Jesus. Like that son of a bitch apple just gave you that 10/10 quality content your tastebuds needed. They fuckin liked, commented, and subscribed that shit down below.

In my English class, we're reading the Odyssey. The graphic novel, the one by the woman, and the one by the man- Fitzgerald something i think-. And my whole class hates Odysseus's ass with passion. We make memes about Odysseus. We made up a drawing of him and then stabbed it REPEATEDLY with toothpicks. When something bad happens to Odysseus, I seriously think some people roll their eyes back in ecstasy because fuck yeah, Odysseus is shit. 

Speaking of the Odyssey, we take notes on it for class, and I just wanted to share some of my notes that I found particularly stunning. 

Why does Nausikaa tell him how to get aid from her family? To be hospitable; Like I said, Oddie thicc (Bet that Penelope's suitors weren't even for her, they came to see O-thicc-eus)

How is his conflict with Euryalus resolved? Is this a good method of conflict resolution? Euryalus offers a sword for their friendship. Of course, I would love a sword. (Then I could slay away all my problems.)

Do you think his reaction to the bard's story is sincere? "Hallucination brought on by overtiredness say what?" NO. He fake. He so fake. He faker than Ms. Piggy. 

Why does he call back at the Cyclops and tell him his true name? Is it a good idea? What does it tell us about Odysseus and his fatal flaw?  Cause he a real Manly Man™. Hmm, is taunting a murderous and vengeful cyclops who you just mutilated, when you know about his water father, a good idea? Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmmm. Why, yes, of course it is. He's fatally a Manly Man™. Oof.

How does Hinds (artist) represent that in his illustrations of the Laestrygonians? RAM-HEAD. WRUAGH

Imma try to keep these chapters short so I can update often, but like, I have utterly no clue when my brain will allow itself some time for anything other than memes and just jargon crap.