My Withering Hope

Prologue

Life has always bored me. I wish it was like the books I've read. I wish I could find love, friendship, and a sense of belonging. In middle school, I was bullied. My only friends were the books I read. After I finished reading all the fantasy books in the library. I went online. I found many places to read books kids my age were writing. I always wished that I could one day write a fantasy book, and maybe the book might actually come true. But no one needed to know if it did.

I've always loved Fiction. The books made have such a high expectation in life. I always wanted that best friend that will be there for me, that will help me through life, that would be my best friend. I've never had that. Well I did, but she turned her back on me and made rumors about me in middle school, but that's another story. Back to Fiction. I don't really like realistic fiction. They aren't very good. I don't know maybe it's the fact that they are so realistic that I know that it would never become a reality, or the fact that it was boring to read. There is no action, drama, or anything exciting in realistic fiction.

I remember reading this realistic fiction book. It was about a girl falling for this guy. But the guy was mysterious. He hated her, and didn't want to get close to her. That's how I felt. I really fell in love with the book. Until the Boy's sister's father showed up, and a few weeks later ended up missing. I was shocked, but I immediately knew it was the boy. He killed that man, so that his sister's fantasy and happiness will stay intact. More people became missing as they tried to take his sister. At the end, the boy was shot down by the police, and his little sister went to live with the girl that loved him. I hated that ending, but I loved it. It was an amazing twist and ending, but I didn't want that for him. I related to him too much. It hurt me. I thought maybe that will happen to me if I stay in this fantasy world.

I started to come out of my shell my freshman year. I stopped reading so much and stated interacting with people. I felt myself be happy, until I had to switch schools. I lost that connection I had, the happiness, my friends. Why couldn't I just be fucking happy? After that I stopped making friends and started reading again. Swearing to never read a realistic fiction book, and only read fantasy fiction.

Fantasy fiction always seemed happy and had pretty good endings. They made me want them to be real. Especially werewolves and vampires. I love werewolves and vampire: they're my favorite. They are gorgeous, strong, and confident supernatural beings. I wish to be like that. I read all sorts of books, but those two are my favorite fiction.

The werewolf is tanned and muscular. Loves the woods and is part wolf. The bond between man and animal is amazing. And the bond between mates is better. I always wanted to find someone I love unconditionally. I mean someone I truly love. I had a boyfriend, I loved him sort of. But being with him slowly stopped making me happy. I was falling deeper into depression. I thought we'd be together until I finally couldn't stand the way he talked to me. We broke up. But werewolves love who the mate too. They find their soulmate. That's what I want to find my soul mate that with complete me and my empty shell of a body.

Werewolves don't always have it easy they might not find their mate, but at least they know that there is someone out there for them. They have such huge hope that they will find their other half. I'm 18 and I lost all hope. Well kinda. I might have to high expectations, but who doesn't. I mean I want some to satisfy me sexually and emotionally. I haven't found that person. Hopefully I find someone by the age of 30, or I'll just marriage any fool who gives me attention. I want kids. I sort of have a love hate relationship with the idea of having kids. I want them but I don't want the full responsibility. I don't want to raise a kid by myself. It scares me. But back on the topic of supernatural beings.

The Vampires are elegant, swift, lean, and strong. Yes, they drink blood, but that's how they survive. Just because they have to drink from humans, doesn't make them bad. They only take our blood, we humans slaughter cows, chicken, dogs, cats, goats, and many other animals. We humans take their children and cook them, we take their milk, meat, fat, and skin. How are we better than vampires. We literally wear animal's skin for clothing, you don't read about any vampires doing that. No they just suck us dry, and leave us. Like the worthless humans we are. Like me leave the bones of animals. Wait we don't we use the bones for jewelry and many other things. We use all the parts of the animals and parade it around. We are sick. And Vampires were humans, so what does that say about us as humans. We yell people have rights. Did that cow you're eating have rights before you slaughter it? Did that baby chicken have rights before you boiled it, or cracked it open on a pan? No. So that's my reason why vampires aren't bad. Yeah we fear death, but that's in every living things instinct to fear death. We don't think that those cows, pigs, or chickens fear death. Vampires are just trying to survive, like we humans.

Now you might be wondering why I'm tellin you all this. Why am I? A complete stranger, and loner. I'm telling you this, because I was wrong. I don't want vampires or werewolves to be real. And this is a warning to everyone who does. DO NOT GO LOOKING FOR THEM!! Because you might find them. And when you do there is no Turning back. They will already be hunting you down to keep their secret. They hide in plain sight with us. It is not fun being hunted or played with. Please if you're reading this. Do NOT make the same mistake I did in finding them because It was not like the books. No it was a lot worse. I don't want anyone else to experience the same thing I did. I barely escaped. I don't even think I really did. When you get out, no if you get out, they will always be watching. If you make the wrong move that might expose them, they will kill you. I'm taking that risk so that you will know. Please don't let me die in vain.

Now let's start from the beginning...