Thoughts About Life

Drowning in despair

You know how they say that everything happens for a reason?

I always believed that. But then, something happens, something bad. And you, find yourself in a hard position.

If everything happens for a reason, then why do bad things happen?

It really does not make sense. Most bad, or sad things do not bring anything but bad feelings. They only hurt people, make them feel miserable. And then people have to find a way to live with that pain. They have to search for strength, realizing that strength is not found; but built. So, you are either very lucky, and have the emotional and psychological strength to deal and cope with the bad thing and feelings that come with it; or you do not. That, dear friend, is the moment you are screwed. And you know you are.

What is the use of those bad feelings? Because really, I do not seen any use, beside the way they make feel people. And that is just cruel.

The universe is cruel. The universe is making fun of you. It throws something in your way to make you feel miserable, wrecked, and then it watches you break down completely, because it did not prepare you for this; not in any possible way. And, on top of that, you are not strong enough to put your pieces together, or resist the pain enough to avoid drowning in it.

So, you simply drown. Alone.

Because you are, alone. Trough hard times, it's up to you how you react. It does not matter that there are people that love you. You will be alone.

People can be near you, they can try and support you. However, no matter how close they are to you, they will never experience the same things a you, not the way you do. They can experience a similar tragedy, but the feelings, the struggle is different for everyone.

An event marks a person. The same event can mark another person, but it will not mark them in the same way. In struggle, every single person is alone.

So, we abide alone in pain. No matter the circumstances. That makes it harder. And it makes the universe even crueler.

Every time you fall, it feels like you will never get back up.

The unfairness is almost impossible. How? Just how can the universe be so impossibly unfair? It sucks all the hope away from your body, to the point where you have nothing left to rely on. The strength was an illusion, and now the hope does not exist anymore.

Strength was always an illusion. You felt strong, unbreakable. Sometimes even unstoppable. The world was at your mercy. You feared nothing, because, what could ever happen? And then, it happens. You find yourself lost. You look for the strength, you search for it. There is none. When you truly need your strength, you realize yu do not have it. All of the strength you thought you had, was merely an illusion of your mind to deceive you. In the moment you realize that, you get lost. You love the last bit of hope, that you didn't even know was left there.

I never believed it, but it is true. You appreciate the things you have only when you lose them. By that time, it is too late.

You cannot hide it, you cannot protect it, because time is a bitch, allied with the stupid universe.