The Usual: A Jonathan Brandis Fanfiction

Ten

Halloween, 1990

  "Abi! Are you going to Ryan's tonight?" Jon asked me as we walked through the hallway to our next class.
  "I'm not sure," I shrugged, uneasy. Jon is my new friend. He was nice to me from the moment I met him. Never judged me, never hurt me, but at home things weren't peachy keen.  Plus, Ryan and I have only talked a handful of times.
  Once Jon and I became friends after he saw me crying in the courtyard, he started to invite me to eat lunch with him and his two friends, Ryan and Brit. Brit is super nice, she's a flirt but she could never harm anyone. Never heard her say one rude thing, even when the mean lunch lady loudly insulted her eyeshadow. She simply smiled and moved on.
  Ryan is quiet. When he isn't, he's hilarious and strong willed. Not very smart, but very rich.
 
"Ryan Cameron," he smiled and introduced himself that one day at lunch. "And uh, I guess an ice breaker, my dad is James Cameron. I don't talk much about it, don't treat me weird," he explained.
  "Who?" I asked him, never having heard of James Cameron.
  "Absidee isn't an actress or musician. She's normal," Jon explained jokingly.
  "Lucky lass. My dad is a really famous director. I hate to sound like a bragger. But you get the idea."
  I continued to eat lunch with them after that, only speaking when spoken to. Kind of like at home. They eventually asked why I went to a private school, specifically how, considering they knew I didn't come from money, or at least at home. Without much detail, I did finally explain that my grandmother paid for a 4 year tuition right before she passed away. I left out the rough home life and the illegal driving.

  "Ah, come on Abi," Jon begged me. "We can go to my house before and hang out!"
  "Well, uh," I got nervous. "I actually drive here. Illegally. Secretly."
  "You drive?" his voice was littered with excitement.
  "Yeah," I smiled shyly.
  "Well jeez! Let's go to your house and you can drive us to Ryan's!"
  "Uh, we may be better going to your house. I'll drive, if that's okay."
  "Sure," he patted my shoulder. "That's cool with me, Abi."

That morning

  "Mom! Dad! I'm doing laundry. Do you guys have anything you need washed?" I smiled at my parents through their bedroom door. The smell of some kind of drug burned my nostrils, but nonetheless I smiled as though I couldn't tell.
  "Here," Dad threw a bunch of clothes off the floor at me. "Don't be late for school." He slammed the door in my face.
  "I-" I started to say, fearful he may hit me.
  He whipped open the door again, looking annoyed. "What?" he demanded. I could see Mom smoking a cigarette and snorting coke on the floor.
  "I couldn't find my jean jacket. Grandma gave it to me for Christmas, I don't know if you remember," I struggled to smile. "I was wondering if you knew where it was."
  I saw Dad look back at Mom and then to me again. "We sold it."
  "You what?" I choked up, heartbroken.
  He rolled his eyes and stepped out of the bedroom, sitting me down at the kitchen table.
  "I know at your grandma's things were different. You snapped your fingers and got what you wanted. Here, that's not how they work. We had to sell a lot of your clothes to pay the electric bill and keep food in your belly. Do you want to starve?"
  "No, Daddy," at this point I was sobbing. I loved that jacket, and I wanted Dad to accept me.
  "Here," he threw me a flannel, some jeans and an old t-shirt. "You can wear this until you get some new clothes. Which reminds me, your mom can't work. She's, uh, she's disabled. I don't work, I shouldn't have to. So, you need a job."
  "Yes sir," I nodded at him. I was starting to plan out hiding spots for my few remaining clothes. "Daddy?"
  "What?" he whipped around.
  "Can I keep the few clothes I washed this morning? They're just t-shirts and jeans. I normally sleep in the t-shirts, so they're not worth a lot, if anything."
  "These?" he questioned the laundry basket on the table beside the washer and dryer.
  "Yes sir."
  He dug through them, deciding on his own if they were worth much. "Keep em. Clean up this mess before you go to school."
  "Yes sir. I love you, Daddy. Thank you for letting me stay here."
  "Yeah," he nodded, walking back into his bedroom, slamming the door.
  The jeans, which were my mothers, were actually a good fit. However, the t-shirt and flannel were my dad's. They smelled of cigarettes and beer and were loose on me.
  I folded my clothes and put them in the cheap drawers in my room, which I knew would eventually get sold. Then, I threw the laundry my dad threw to me in the washing machine and tried to fix my hair. When nothing would fix it, I ultimately decided on just throwing it half up half down. I threw on my old Chuck Taylor's and finally left, illegally driving my grandmother's car.
  "Hey Abi!" I heard Jon call out to me as I walked towards the front door of the school. His mom drove away in their nice Toyota Camry.
  "Hey," I smiled as the crisp, fall air nipped at me through the flannel.
  We talked about our usual stuff, school, homework, whatever, before Jon parted and went to his first block. Jon hadn't the slightest idea what my homelife was like, and it showed. He would constantly ask questions like, "what do your parents do?" or "are you and your parents close?" Not that it mattered, I didn't want him to judge me for my rather poor homelife, although something told me he wouldn't judge me.
 
  Now, here we are, Jon trying to convince me to go to Ryan's. "Puuuuh-leaaaaase," he begged. "I have a cool new CD we can play, if your car has a CD player."
  "It does. Look, meet me at my car after school and we'll go to your house."
  "Okay!" Jon cheered. "I'll see you at 2:45 Abi!"
  "You'll actually see me at lunch in 25 minutes," I corrected him.
  "Oh, right," he blushed.
  "Break it up, you two," Mrs. Mullen snapped at us. "Class starts in precisely 57 seconds. No tardies are to be accepted."
  "Yes ma'am," I rolled my eyes and walked into my tiny, 8 person class for Algebra.
  After a very long and boring 25 minutes, our dinosaur aged teacher dismissed us to the cafeteria. I looked down in disgust at my peanut butter and jelly sandwich, which was the free kid food. There's a janitor who, if you pay him a little extra, will let you leave to get good food.
  I threw my food away in disgust. Not like I was planning on eating anyways, did I ever? As the cafeteria filled and I waited for one of my new friends to find me seated by the window, it quickly grew to be very warm. I struggled to keep my flannel on as I grew warmer. Why must I do this to myself? Brit, Jon and Ryan didn't cut themselves. They didn't starve themselves either. Why do I have to be so different?
  Lunch that day was usual. Everything, in fact, has been usual. My parents abused me, as usual. I cut and starved, as usual. I didn't fit in, as usual. Nothing ever changed. But something about Jon was unusual. In a good way. It made me interested in him as a human.
  "You guys know Abi can drive?" Jon bragged as he bit his sandwich.
  "How?" Ryan was intrigued. His young, boyish body seemed riddled with energy as his already somewhat muscular arms grabbed at his food.
  "Well, my grandma left me her car when she passed away. She left me everything basically, except her house."
  "And your parents don't mind?" Brit further investigated, way too excited.
  "No, you see, I live way out of walking or biking distance. And my parents work a lot. If I didn't drive here I would be either extremely late or just never come."
  "Why did your grandma care so much about where you went to school?" Brit asked as she sipped her water.
  "I lived with her my whole life until she passed away."
  "Why?" Ryan continued asking. Jon looked ready to interject and stop the questions, he knew I was growing uncomfortable.
  "My parents were travelling workers," I lied. "They didn't want me to have a chaotic childhood, moving a lot and stuff. So, my grandma let me live with her.
  "Cool stuff," Jon smiled. I could tell he could read lies like a book. "So, Ryan, what are we going to do at your party tonight?"
  "I don't really consider it a party. It's just us four. But it'll be fun. We're gonna order a pizza, watch Halloween, eat some snacks and candy, play games, and just have some fun. Plus, our new puppy, Diesel, is gonna have to hang with us while Mom and Dad's party goes on."
  "Sweet," Jon nodded.
  After school, Jon met me at my car as planned.
  "Are you sure your mom won't mind me driving you home?"
  "I normally walk home, so believe me she won't care."
  I was nervous to meet Jon's friends. I had never really  met any of my friend's parents, because I never really had friends. My grandma homeschooled me for as long as she could before deciding a real high school was for me. I wasn't sheltered by any means, Grandma was easy to get along with. I could go out and do whatever I wanted, but once my weekly allowance of $20 was gone, it was gone until the following Monday. As long as I was home by 7:00, my grandma wouldn't even really ponder or question where I had been. Not that she didn't care, if I wanted to tell her something I could, but she wanted me to learn independence. She probably knew her life was going to be short, or shorter than I could have ever dreamed. I pictured her being at my graduation, cheering as I marched across the stage, or watching me raise my first child. I pictured her living long and possibly forever, but when I got the call that she was no longer with us, I knew my life would be changed forever. I wouldn't have a support system, or at least the one I was so used to. I wouldn't have anyone to come to when I was hurt or excited. When I got the call, I dreadfully looked at a family picture, one of my mom as a teenager.
  She was nestled in comfortably between my grandma and grandpa. She had the most beautiful long blonde hair, with freckles lightly sprinkled across her face and blue eyes to match. And the most beautiful smile. I guessed she was about 14 in the picture, it was certainly before I was even thought of. Then, without warning, I cried and cried. I resented God for taking away my grandmother. He knew the type of person my mother was, he knew how my father treated her. He knew I was going to live in misery.
  "Now, now, no tears. You'll be starting high school, you'll be busy. Get involved in something, keep yourself busy. And never forget your Aunt and Uncle," my aunt Wanda told me as we buried my grandma.
  "Why can't I come live with you?" I begged.
  "Because, dear, the law specifies you have to live with your mother and father. Plus, I live in a whole 'nother state. You wouldn't want that kind of move! Look, Cecilia left you everything, including the house. But, you're 14 and legally cannot live in it alone. So for now, it's in my name. When you turn 21, I'll hand it over to you. You can sell it, live in it, whatever you want, but do not go messing around in it, you hear? I'm going to have some tenants live in it, wealthy retired folk. Have you gotten your furniture out?"
  I nodded. "Some of it. I can't move a lot of it into my parents home."
  "They'll probably sell it for the dope they breath. Don't let them into the home. Your grandmother also left you very well off financially, be it you may want to go to college, and I hope you do. Don't spend any of it unless you absolutely must. Don't tell your parents about it either. I hope you understand, Abi, I'm looking out for you."
  Aunt Wanda was the strictest lady I knew. But she was always caring. Behind her black veil, her blue eyes shone with love. Uncle Mike wasn't half as stern. He was fun to be around, not that Aunt Wanda wasn't, she could be a riot as well, but Mike was hilarious. He always had something to say.
  "Come on now, let's get you some food. There's a big meal waiting for us at Cecilia's. We'll be out of your hair by week's end."
  No friends attended my grandmother's funeral. No friends asked for me to have sleepovers. No friends called. Because I had no friends. Therefore, I never had to try and impress parents before. Jon didn't seem too worried about me meeting his parents, but I was a nervous wreck.
  "You good?" he laughed as I uncontrollably shook as we walked to his front door. The house was not what I was expecting. When I found out Jon was an actor, I was expecting a big house in a neighborhood I would never dream of being in. But instead, the house, which still was rather large compared to my tiny half house, yet still smaller than my grandmother's house, sat comfortably in your average typical neighborhood. I could see that there were two stories, possible a basement, but nothing to be shocked at.
  "Come on," he grabbed my arm lightly and pulled me inside. "Hey Mom! I'm home , I brought my friend Abi with me. We're going to Ryan's together. She drives."
  I was expecting a slender, model looking lady with silky blonde hair and expensive clothes to pop out of the laundry room where she was, but instead, your average looking mom popped out, smiling. She had long, dark hair and freckles like Jon, and wore a t-shirt and jeans. She was beautiful, nonetheless, but down to earth beautiful. A natural beautiful.
  "My names Mary. You can just call me Mary. And your name is Abi? Short for Abigail, I assume?"
  "It's actually short for Absidee," I smiled and shook her hand.
  "Absidee? Never heard that name. It's pretty. How do you spell that?"
  I spelled out my name and nickname to her. She nodded in amusement and offered Jon and I some food. Jon declined as well as I, and she reluctantly went back to laundry.
  "You guys go up to Jon's room, actually Jon, give her a tour of the house so she's comfortable. Abi, it was nice to meet you, make yourself at home."
  Jon nervously showed me around his house. I could tell he never had girls over. His shy, nerdy giggle made me blush every time, and when we finally got to his room, he nervously opened it.
  "Don't judge me," he laughed as I stepped in. He had posters of a few movies that were being released soon, ones that I assumed he was in. Other than that, it was a normal teenage boy's room. I sat on his bed and looked at his nightstand, which had a lamp, lotion and tissues on it. I giggled and pointed at it, to which Jon turned an unhealthy shade of red and hid them.
  "Don't worry, I won't tell," I giggled. Typical boys.
  Jon asked what kind of stuff I liked, and we bonded over music taste. We both really liked the hippie stuff and Nirvana, a newer band that a lot of people didn't know about yet.
  "So, Abi, do you like video games?"
  "The only games I've ever played are the ones at the arcade," I blushed.
  "Seriously?"
  "Yeah."
  Jon looked around for a moment, swinging his arms dramatically as he did so. "Well, uh, would you want to?"
  "Sure," I stood up and smiled. Jon looked more than excited when I sat down on a bean bag beside him to play video games with him.
  "Chicks never really play video games, or at least any of the ones I've hung out with."
  "Oh, so you bring a lot of girls home," I teased.
  Jon licked his lips and paused for a second. "No," he giggled. His cheeks turned slightly pink as he ran his hand through his blonde hair. "I mean, sometimes Ryan and Brit come over," he shifted in his bean bag. "What's it to you?" he smiled.
  "I just didn't know if my new friend was a hoochie or not," I shrugged.
  Suddenly, Mary called upstairs and asked what we were up to.
  "Nothing!" he called down. Then he looked at me and quietly added, "don't tell her about playing video games. I'm supposed to keep them downstairs so I don't stay up all night playing them."
  Before I could say anything, his mom called back, "Jon, your dad will be home in about 20 minutes or so. Do you guys want anything? I'm fixing dinner."
  "No thanks, Ryan is having some pizza tonight. Thanks anyways, Mom!"
  His mom said okay and I heard her walk away. Jon and I spent the next hour or so playing video games until Ryan called and told us we can come on over to his house.