i just want you to know who i am

Chapter 10

"No pressure, but...do you wanna tell me what happened?" the brunette held her mug firmly and lifted her legs up onto the couch.

Cheryl pursed her lips and looked down at her mug of tea. She was so tired that she wasn't sure she would even be able to gather her thoughts enough to form the whole story. She had so much swimming around in her head, she didn't know what she would say if she opened her mouth. "I-I don't think I can...not right now," she whispered as she tried her hardest not to start crying again, "I'm sorry."

"Hey, I said no pressure. Whenever you're ready," Toni leaned her elbow against the back of the couch, propping her head up, "You wanna just watch TV or something?" At Cheryl's nod, she turned on the TV to a rerun of Party of Five, sipping at her own tea as they watched in silence. She tried not to pry or ask questions, but Toni couldn't help but glance over at the redhead every time she sniffled. She didn't know what happened, but the fear she saw in Cheryl's eyes when her parents pulled into the driveway earlier had haunted her ever since. And as they started another episode, the bright light from the TV illuminated Cheryl's face just enough for Toni to see the slight discoloration forming on her porcelain cheek.

"Shit," her eyes widened a little before she got up to go to the kitchen, leaving Cheryl alone and confused in the connected room. The redhead followed her with her eyes, wondering what had prompted her to get up. But when she came back with a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a layer of paper towel, she felt her muscles tense as her heartbeat picked up speed. Toni wasn't stupid. She could probably put two and two together to figure out what had happened to her. "Here," Toni's voice was soft as she pressed the bag gently to Cheryl's cheek, holding her head steady with her other hand. Her heart felt like it was breaking in half when the younger girl started to cry once again, her tears hitting the makeshift ice pack as they slid down her cheek.

"I'm so sorry," Cheryl whimpered, keeping her hands to herself as Toni took care of her. For some reason it was all she could think to say. Nothing else came to mind. She didn't feel like she deserved such kindness from Toni after the rant she had gone on before. "I-I shouldn't have said all those things to you. I was just upset and-"

Toni cut her off, 'shh'ing her quietly as her free hand moved to the back of her neck, fingertips idly playing with the baby hairs in a way that Cheryl found so comforting. Toni's short nails grazed back and forth against the base of her hairline in a steady rhythm while she kept the bag of peas against her cheek. She didn't deserve to be treated so nicely.

"H-he hit me," she stammered, starting to feel herself breaking down yet again, "He's n-never hit me before. Not my face." Toni didn't push her, she didn't ask questions. She just kept her fingers raking gently against the back of her neck and the ice pack pressed carefully to her swollen cheek. "H-he asked who was at the door when they came home. I told him you were just someone from newspaper dropping off notes. B-but he didn't care, he didn't listen," Cheryl sobbed quietly, her clammy hands folded in her lap, "He threw things at me and tried to hit me with his belt. And then he s-slapped me across the face...and called me worthless."

She was so scared. This was the first time she'd ever told anyone about her father's cruelty towards her. He'd always been tough on her, but since Jason's death, he had gotten ten times worse. And despite all the times she claimed that she wanted to expose him, she found herself now in a near panic at the idea of him getting into trouble for this. He would kill her if her big mouth ruined his reputation.

"Cheryl," Toni sighed, "Look at me." She moved her free hand from the back of her neck to reach down for one of hers, squeezing gently. "You're not worthless, okay? Just cause your dad's a pastor doesn't mean his word is law. If he can't see what an amazing person you are, then he's blind as shit." At least that made her chuckle a little bit through her tears. "I mean it," she laughed a little herself, bringing her hand back up to wipe tears from her untouched cheek, "You're seriously the nicest, most genuine person I've ever met. Anyone who can't see that isn't worth your time."