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1: first contact

*DING*
The sharp alert from my phone cuts through the room. It's 9:00pm and as per usual I'm sitting in bed tirelessly scrolling through Netflix debating the merits of comedy vs. action. The light of my phone illuminates my whole room, forcing me to pay attention. Messages are uncommon for me, I never really go out of my way to talk to people out of school. People could easily make the mistake to think that I'm 'unpopular'. That's not the case, I have plenty of friends but I've always preferred to spend my free time by myself.

Curiosity overtakes me and I discard my iPad onto the pillow beside me. I pick up my phone and read the simple one word message

"Hey"

One simple word and yet it has so much meaning. Ryan and Lana have broken up. There is no other reason for Ryan Hilton to be messaging me on a Thursday night. Even though I know it's socially unacceptable, I immediately send "hey" back.

I had always sort of had complicated feelings about Ryan. He was so funny and ridiculous always making me laugh and yet he was also such an unaware asshole. I know you're not meant to be vain or care about what other people think, but I couldn't help it, all of my friends wouldn't understand why I kind of like Ryan as he was that goofy guy, the class clown, the boy unquestionably in the friend zone. It wasn't until Lana started school and Ryan and Lana immediately hit it off that my friends could even consider Ryan as dateable material.
A year later and here I am staring at a message from Ryan who is clearly now a new eligible bachelor.

*DING*

"So Lana and I broke up..."

Yep, my assumptions were confirmed. I am so annoyed at how happy it makes me feel that I'm the first person he messages. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, I was the last girl he was chatting to before Lana came on to the scene (not that any of my friends knew about that). So many doubts fill my head.

Are we picking up where we left off? Am I just being a supportive friend to help him through his breakup?

I am so new at this. I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend. It's not that boys haven't tried and it's not that I've never crushed on a boy, it's just that usually the second they make their romantic intentions clear, I run for the hills, turn on ghost mode. This will probably end the same way.

I stay up so late texting Ryan that night.