Gangsta (OITNB/VAUSEMAN)

4 - What They Call It

"Please, no more panic attacks inmate. We have people with bigger problems to take care of, alright?" Alex nodded in shame. "You take the pills we give you, and don't come back here." The man revved up and was about to leave, when Alex abruptly called for him.

"Wait!"

He turned back around. "What?"

"What kind of pills did you give me? I don't think they're good for me-" She restrained herself. "Sir."

"Just take the pills, inmate." Without looking back, the man left the room. Tautly stretching his shoulders and minding nothing Alex had to say. But she insisted and kept, louder than before, calling for him.

"Sir! No! I don't need them. I know my body! Sir! Please.."

"Jesus fucking christ would you shut the fuck up?" Alex looked left, and found an irritated woman laying in the bed next to her. She was weak, half asleep, half dead. Her old face becoming moldy, displaying tiredness and depression. Alex sank into her bed, her cheeks reddening in embarrassment. The lady took deep breaths and coughed disturbingly. Alex felt sorry for her appearance and what she saw next had Alex's heart fill with sympathy. The lady's both wrists were wrapped in bandages, with horrible blood stains peeking. The lady shut her eyes closed, and Alex took this chance to examine her arms. The way the bandages were wrapped too tightly around them, probably applying the exact pressure on the cuts. Alex could understand the pain the woman might be feeling right now, god damn did she know the feeling. But as painful as it may be, it was necessary. Alex knew. It was way too familiar.

"I'm sorry.." Alex whispered softly while shrinking into the blanket. "I really am sorry.."

--

Walking into the cafeteria the next day was rather difficult for Alex, to say at least. She was released from medical at lunch time, given no time to rest in her bunk. All the way there Alex could feel eyes on her, many eyes, judging eyes. The cafeteria wasn't as crowded as the last time she'd been here just the day before, but it held enough people to give Alex the stress waves. All Alex wanted was to disappear, take off and never be back. She wasn't hungry, not one bit. But the guards wouldn't let her leave this early. Alex observed the room, again it was organized in groups. Suddenly it all felt like high school, if you don't have your own friends you don't exist. And Alex was way used to this, not existing, so she figured sitting alone was where she belonged.

There it was, the only vacant table in the middle of the cafeteria. Alex shakily made her way there, toddling, insecure. All the while dealing with the lump in her throat hardening as whispers from fellow inmates started to float around her.

Everyone is staring at you.

Alex sat quietly, isolating herself from the noises she heard, outside in the cafeteria and inside her brain. She was hoping to let time pass until lunch time was over, go back to her bunk and be left alone under her sheets. There, no-one could hurt her. With no job or friends, this was everything she could and better be doing for the next five years she had to spend in prison. If she'd been stupid enough to collapse infront of everyone on her first day in prison, it was best for her to not show her face around other people ever again.

Everyone is fucking staring at you.

Alex was lost in thoughts. She didn't care to look around or at least notice the group of three girls entering the cafeteria and rushing towards her. One of them harshly tugged at Alex's shoulder and pushed her back to look at her. Alex gasped hurriedly, seeing three angry girls looking down at her. "Hey bitch the fuck you think you doing?"

"Umm..umm" A shudder ran through Alex as she struggled to understand the situation. What had she done now? Each one of these girls had so much hate in their eyes Alex could not manage to look straight into them.

"Speak up, bitch"

"I was just sitting. I'm sorry..-"

"You better fucking be!" The second girl added, rising her voice in a way that scorched Alex's ears. "This is Piper's table you dumb bitch. So you better get your fat ass outta here."

Everyone is staring at you.

Alex stood up. Deciding to have none of these girl's drama. She's had enough of it and been through so much only two days into prison. Facing the girls eye to eye, Alex so swiftly lost her confidence, but consistantly continued. "Look, I don't know who Piper is, I'm not looking for troubles-"

"You don't know do you, new girl? Wait until she gets here to kick you in your ugly ass face and then you'll fucking know!"

Alex didn't move.

"Get the fuck away bitch"

"No."

"No?!"

"No. I didn't even do anything."

"Okay, so this goes on a higher level, I take it." The girl mischievously smirked, clenched a fist and directed it to Alex's face. "Feeling brave are we?"

"Alright alright" Alex heard a textured voice behind her. Along she felt a hand pulling her aside, out of the girls territory and towards a different table at the back of the cafeteria. Alex looked back seeing the girls shooting her death glares, but then sitting at the table and minding their own business. Being led to their table, Alex studied the girl who just pulled her out of the scene.

A small individual with a height of 5'3". Big eyes and a wide face. Her hair was copper blonde and wavy - its unkempt appearance being a key identifying feature. She was wearing mascara and eyeliner below her eyes, and rolled up sleeves. "As attractive as you are kid, try your best not to attract flies like Piper's bitches." She commented while leading them to sit at the table, next to Lorna, the driver Alex got familiar with yesterday in the van. Alex's lips creased into a small smile in relief of her new company, recovering from the terrifying scene she fell victim to. "You okay, darling?" Lorna sweetly checked on her, her expression totally opposite from those the girls treated her with. "Things like that happen sometimes. You really shouldn't give it the time of your day."

"Everyone was staring at me." Alex abruptly stated. Still seizing in her mind their glares, hearing very clear their whispers echoing in her head, it was all still there. Nothing changed.

Both Lorna and Nicky locked their eyes together then averted their look back to Alex. "What?"

"Everyone was staring at me. Because of what happened yesterday.." Alex murmured, barely audible while lowering down her head.

"Hey, secret agent." Nicky lowered her head as well reaching for Alex's gaze, and smirking at how cute she was being like a little kid stuck in her own bubble. "The fuck happened?"

"Don't pretend like you don't know."

Lorna and Nicky's faces remained confused. Alex exhaled deeply. Finding it hard to believe she'd have to say it out loud. "I.. I.. yesterday.. I ended up in medical.. because I was having some.. um.. pressure incident during the meeting with Mr. Caputo. I bet everyone heard about it, and they were all staring at me." Alex finished, grazing her skin, her glance ambling around the people in the cafeteria. But having no audacity to keep her head straight for much long.

"When did that happen?" Nicky asked, almost only to herself. Lorna slumped her shoulder and giggled. "Honey, I'm sorry but on one was talking today about a girl fainting."

"What?"

"Yeah, the only reason these bitches were maybe staring at you was because you took Piper's precious sit in the cafeteria." Nicky sarcastically rolled her eyes, Lorna caressing her upper arm and nodding in agreement.

Alex's senses sharpened. This wasn't the first time she'd hear that name. "Who is this Piper girl I keep hearing about?" She curiously, yet pretty innocently wondered.

Nicky snorted, then took a bite from her moldy food on her plate. "You should get some food, kid."

--

A/N

Hi guys!

Long time no see.

I'd like to apologize. I want to let you know that I have great ideas for this book and I'm not going to stop right here. Life has been stressful for my own reasons but I promise to update sooner. Love you all.

Vote and comment what you think!