Invaded: The Companion Guide

Courtship and Marriage

Courtship and Marriage among members of the commune is considered one of the most important parts of a person's life. No woman is ever deemed a spinster and no man is ever too old to be married.

Both the courtship and the marriage can take place as early as age fifteen. It is not uncommon for one spouse to be older or younger than the other; in fact, it is relatively commonplace. Women are generally faced with more pressure to be social among their peers before they reach their "prime" (menopause).

Courting should rightfully begin after the man has sought out the parents of the girl and asked to court her. He may bring flowers or small gifts to her home to show his affection for her and the two may be allowed a "lover's walk" that is chaperoned by the girl's father or oldest brother, who walks behind them at a safe distance. These walks often take place at twilight after the farming has been done for the day. Their courtship is generally short-lived--often lasting no more than a week of time.

Weddings are always held on a Sunday during church services. Some weddings coincide with others while some do not. The Saturday evening prior to a wedding, the lone road through the Commune is lined with candles and flowers or wreathes as the season permits. During the wedding ceremony, traditional vows are administered by the head of the church and husband and wife are bound from elbow to wrist with a Cord of Matrimony; a length of rope to symbolize the long lives the couple will have together. This cord remains in place for the duration of the festivities, and is seen as an important keepsake. Traditionally, the rope will later be wound and tied across the top of the bed they will share.

A feast and a dance are held in the groom's (or the groom's family's) barn and everyone in the commune brings a dish of some sort to contribute as a demonstration of the community's blessing. After dark, the guests return to their yards, lighting the candles in front of their house while they wait for the bride and groom to emerge. The candle-lit walk between husband and wife is underscored by a traditional hymn sung softly by the community as a whole. At the end of the lane, the head of the church gives a final blessing, removes the Cord of Matrimony, and escorts the new husband and wife to their home.