It was the big day. I was finally getting married. I was nervous and I scanned the crowd. My heart rose and swelled with emotion as I saw my friends sitting in the seats. To my left, my groomsmen stood with that stupid smile on their faces. The air was light and the sky was bright. We really could not have chosen a better day. I continued to let my mind wander as I stood there next to the officiate. We actually let one of my best friends, Bryan do it. He had quite the smug look on his face when we told him he'd be officiating our wedding.
Suddenly, the music started and I was brought back down to Earth. Shaking my head a bit, I grinned as I saw my soon-to-be wife start coming down the aisle. Under my breath, I whispered to myself. "She is so beautiful. Why is she marrying me?" Hearing a snort to my left, I glanced at my friend, Louis. "Yeah. We wonder too." He smirked and gave me a thumbs up. "Now go pay attention."
Turning back to my soon-to-be wife, I grin. After a minute, we stood face to face in front of Bryan. He then began the readings and I may or may not have just tuned him out. Eventually, we began our vows. She went first. I tried really hard not to cry. Then, it was my turn. Taking her hands, I smiled and spoke. "The first thing I said to you when we met was I'm sorry. Now, I wasn't apologizing for something I did. It was my girlfriend of the time. We hit it off great. I thought you were funny, relatable, and just a lot of fun. We-we were questionable friends to say the least. We were weird and strange and just all around odd. But I loved that about us. I loved how we could talk about anything and everything. I loved how we could be open to each other despite it all. Our relationship was rocky at the start. We've gone through so much crap together. The fact that I've reached this point where I can stand here and say this to you is everything. It's worth all the pain and hurt and the struggles. I love you. I love you more than anyone I've ever dated before. I love you more than I knew I was even capable of doing. I love the way you smile. I love the way you laugh. I love the way you dance when you're given the chance. I love you. I love everything about you. I love you even when you're sad or mad. I love you. I love you so damn much. I swear on my music and everything I have ever stood for that I will protect you, care for you, provide for you, and love you. You're my everything. I will treat you as such."
The ceremony finished up soon after without a hitch. A couple hours later, we're all at the reception and it's time for speeches. Most everyone had already offered their congratulations and toasts. It was my turn. Normally, I'd be the first to make a speech. It's my wedding after all. I wanted to go last though. I wanted a bit of time to prepare myself. My nerves were starting to fritz and my head was starting to glitch. I was starting to flake and I just couldn't shake that dreaded feeling. Glancing at that pair of empty seats, I took a deep breath and stood up.
"Hey everyone. First of all, I want to thank you guys for coming. You all have no idea how much this means to me and to my wife. We've always struggled to make good, real friends. All of you before us today, are the friends we consider family. However, family isn't always what you've chosen. It's what you're given. They couldn't make it today. I...it makes me a bit sad ya know. I had this whole speech for them. Whatever. I'll give it out anyway." Laughing with a hint of bitterness in my voice, I drank my shot of vodka. "My parents gave me an amazing childhood. They always supported me. They took brilliant care of me. But they never understood me. It was hard for them. They tried their best to give me my space and give me my freedom. But at our cores, we were very different people. My mother was a woman who would always "prefer" it her way. She was driven and she wasn't afraid to put up a fight. My father was the slightly more laid back one of the two. He was pretty chill overall and was a funny guy. I loved them both. They loved me. While we were a family, they did mess up sometimes. And I recall this one time in sixth grade. I had I think a C in a class? Or failed a test? I just remember my mom forbidding me from signing up for baseball again and I ended up crying curled up in my closet. I think that was it for me. That's when I started drifting away. Things were never the same. Time passed and I was just constantly afraid of my parents. I wanted to get out from under their control, but I was terrified of confronting them. Eventually, it got to a point where we were able to sit down and talk things out. We still don't understand each other at all, but there's progress. The thing is, if it wasn't for my parents raising me the way they did, I wouldn't be who I am today. I wouldn't be able to stand here and say that I am married to the most beautiful and wonderful woman I have had the pleasure of meeting. So despite all the fights and the misunderstandings and all of the stupid little arguments...I love them. I love them so much."
Sitting down, I let out a shaky breath. Holding my wife's hand, I squeeze it gently. "That...was harder than I thought it would be..." She reached up and smiled gently as she wiped a tear from my cheek. She kissed me and whispered softly in my ear. "You're okay now baby. It's gonna be okay." Smiling gently at her, I rest my forehead against hers and allow a small stream of tears come down my face. To this day, they couldn't accept my decision to leave. They couldn't accept the fact that while she was my wife to the families, our friends knew that he was really my husband. He was gender-fluid but usually liked the male pronouns. He was my boyfriend, then my fiance, and now my husband. However, my parents couldn't accept that I was bi. They've been in denial since I was a teen. Even now, they're still in denial and I was hoping they'd be here. I was hoping that in the end, they'd accept me and my husband. In the end, I was wrong. In the end, all I gave was an empty speech to an empty audience.
