Letting go is hard. Ang hirap matanggap na ang lalaking mahal na mahal ka dati ay may mahal ng iba. Masakit na kahit anong gawin mo ay wala na. Hindi na masasalba ang relasyon nyo.
"Camille, what happened?" My mom asked. Tulala lang ako sa puting ceiling.
Remembering how he told me that he needed a break brought tears to my eyes again. Pinigilan kong pumikit dahil alam kong babagsak ang luha ko.
Alam ko. Alam ko namang may nagbago. Hindi ko lang alam kung bakit. Did I do something wrong? Is there someone new? I don't know.
"Camille." My mom called me again.
Umiling ako.
"Don't tell me there's nothing wrong when you're in this room." Masuyong sabi nya. She sat beside me. "Hindi ka ba kumakain? My God Camille! You look so thin! Is it Lawrence?"
Gusto kong umiyak. But I don't want my mom see me cry.
"Ano bang nangyari?" My mom asked, I didn't answer, I just kept on shaking my head. Before she could ask again, Lawrence came into the room. Panting.
"Camille..." He said. He's still panting. And he's drenched. Malakas ang ulan sa labas. Nakikiramay sa nararamdaman ko.
"What did you do to my daughter, Lawrence?!" Mabilis na tumayo si Mommy at sinalubong siya. Yumuko siya. Hindi sumigaw si Mommy but I know she's mad. She likes Lawrence a lot. We've known each other since we were kids, and my mom practically treats him like her own. Kaya masayang masya sila nang nalaman nilang kami na three years ago.
"Tita, Im sorry. I didn't know-"
Hindi nya alam na ganito ang mangyayari cause he asked for a break? A space? Pinutol ko na siya bago pa nya dagdagan ang sasabihin nya. "Mom, its not his fault." Tinitigan ako ni Mommy. "I swear."
I know she didn't believe me but let it go instead. "Can you please leave us for a while?" She sighed and left us after she kissed and embraced me and also after she reminded him to take care of me.
We were silent for a couple of minutes. Nakatayo lang siya sa malayo. He didn't even look at me.
"B-babe." Nanginginig kong tawag ko sakanya. He didn't move. He was just standing there. Dun na ko tuluyang umiyak. Ung malalakas na hikbi. Ung tipong mawawalan na ko ng hininga.
Mabilis siyang lumapit sakin at saka ako niyakap.
"Im sorry. Im really sorry. I really didn't mean to, Camille." Bulong nya habang yakap yakap ako.
Im sorry too. Im too weak to let you go, Lawrence. I may be selfish but I just cant let you go. After ko mahospitalize because of fatigue and stress, Lawrence didn't ask me to break up with him. He has been a really nice boyfriend again. He's always with me. Parang ayaw nyang nawawala ako sa paningin nya. He reminds me to eat on time and do all the things I have to do. Kahit late na matapos and dance practice ko ay sinusundo nya pa rin ako. Malapit lang naman ang condo ko sa school pero ang laging dahilan nya ay malapit rin ang bahay nya sa school but he still need to drive, eh pwede ko lang lakarin ang condo ko.
He has been extra sweet and caring after that. I nearly killed myself. Sinong hindi matatakot? I know Im being selfish. Knowing Lawrence, I know he's going to be guilty and blame his self of what has happened to me. And if it's the only way to keep him, I'd do it over and over again.
Sumipol si Migs nang makita nya ang pinsan ni Bryle bumaba ng kotse nito. Matagal na nila siyang pinaguusapan magmula nung birthday ni Bryle. Pasukan palang ay siya na ang pinaguusapan nila. She was the hot topic for a month! Except kung naroon si Bryle. And seeing her right now, grabe! Ive never been insecure with someone but because of her, I am kinda insecure right now.
