Avas norm

Intro To My Fucked Up Life

Just a normal day here in Dela city walking home from school like an average girl. I always wear pants and a giant shirt with excising shoes or some black Nikes. Ava my name its whatever my father or I call "sperm donor" he said that he didn't know what to know me so he named me Ava laeine which is lane how you pronounce it. I am around 230 pounds and well that brings a lot of insecurities and I have been running a lot because I eat when sad especially pasta. I love pasta.

       I got home my gray old house it looks like it could collapse at any moment but my dads a drunk and my mom a wannabe housewife. It's sad though my dad works so hard he's a terrible father hitting me letting his anger out on me because my mom will call the cops. Then I have to act like I didn't know anything I was "gone" at a friends house. CPS thinks I know nothing. My mom shes terrible to she would shoot up sometimes and well shes loud yelling at my sperm donor or yelling at me telling me how useless I am. That's sad right haha. I am the only child and I am thankful for that

       I opened the door quietly because I don't know if my dad is drunk and tired or just tired but either way he is grumpy. I am also hoping my mom is in her room because she acts like she's happy to see me but when she's not she shot up. I closed it quietly and quickly tiptoed to my dark room. "Ava your home hahaha," my mom said cheerfully. I closed my door quickly slamming it basically which it woke my dad up. "what the hell Daniela" he shouted she looked scared and grabbed the doorknob and whispered, "Ava he's drunk again". I sighed emotionless I couldn't feel anything I didn't even feel bad so I just put my music on blast and changed into jammies and layed down and closed my eyes. "Daniela why the fu arent you kitchen" he slurred and my mom like a dumbass walked to him and said "sorry honey you want a microwave dinner" she looked puppylike you can tell there was fear in her eyes he looked at her with a smirk" you know Daniela you sound really good right now " he grabbed her boob then. My mom looked confused but just went with it "alright daddy" my dad wants to be called that if not he gets so mad that's probably why he's so mad at me all the time I never call him that. My room was dark it felt empty and the music was the only thing that brought the room to life. I sighed I smelled my old sweaty skin I need to shower.

   I gathered my things for the shower also my special baggy. My special baggy contains weed, my blades, diet pills, and laxatives and vibrator. I open the door slightly looked out hoping they aren't in the living room they weren't in there but they forgot to shut the door when I saw how I was made I also heard slight moans. My face went sour and I just walked to the shower I sighed and put on the cold shower. At school, I looked up anorexic tips and it said cold showers help tighten your body and the shakes burn calories. Before I shower I use my purple with black stars vibrator and then smoke my weed I only take like 2 puffs then I bring out my razors. I love my razors to where I even have names for them one is called suicide which is my big one then butcher which is my smaller one. I tried butcher once and well I didn't bleed out I cut wrong at the time which was middle school I didn't know you cut up and not sideways. My skin was all scared up when I look at the mirror my hair was full and a dark brown and short I hate long hair. It doesn't make me bi though im straighter than a line then I look at my nose I actually like my nose its button like so I like my side face and my lips are full I hate those people make fun of me for it because im disgustingly fat with ugly stretch marks I have big thighs  and a naturally big butt my breasts are normal nothing special and my eyes I love the bluest brown-violet. After I was done hating and loving myself I sat on the toilet and let all my stress frustration on my thighs and belly.....

        "booo   rooooo booooo" i turn off my alarm the sun was peaking through my turquoise sheets my curly hair was a mess and it was freezing cold. I get up and go to the kitchen my mom was making eggs but she was singing loudly I was confused why she was so happy because I talked to the dealer and he said he didn't sell to her. She looked at me and her eyes were huge and her face it looked crazy. I thought to myself she must have found a new dealer and now I have to find him and beg him not to sell to her. " You want eggs bitch hahaha" I looked at her emotionless again " no mom im ok" her happy crazy face turned into an angry look she turned back to look at her oh so specail eggs "you know you ungrateful ass bitch you need some fucken eggs" she stopped stirring and I was getting ceral and opening the bag  she turned around and  looked at me i wassnt paying attention to her trying to ingore her "hey little pathetic bitch look at me" I still kept ingoring her "heeeeey" she said she nodded her head and grabbed the hot eggs and threw tham at me "ow what the fudge mom!!!" she was red and she looked heartless then she threw the pan at  me I got up quickly and started to cry a little and run to my run but she pulled my hair and pulled me down to the ground and looked me in the eyes " you wanna be ungrateful and useless to us i dont evcen know why I kept you you only brought hell for me and your dad did you know that we were so happy then your stupid fucken fetus ass came" then she slapped me aand spit on my face. My mom pulled me up and pushed me into my room "go away you regretful fetus and never come out"  she slammed the door then all I heard from her was mumbling. I locked my door slide down and cried I always think of what they say to me especially my mom shes the most normal until now I still love them even though they don't treat me like a human being. I was still crying but getting ready for school I put a pair of blue jeans on and a big baggy sweater even though its gonna be around 89 today. When I was done getting ready for school I got my backpack and climbed out the window.