A cry for help|| Mark Tuan

-1

MARIANNA. I woke up with the usual sad and empty feeling in my heart. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it! I fucking hate living like this. I can't! I'm bullied because of how I am, I didn't ask to look or be this way! It was forced upon me!

It wasn't my fucking choice to be put on the fucking Earth. But that's okay, they'll never feel the pain they put me through. I get up and take a long hot shower, since it's the last one I'm going to be taking. I brush out my hair and put it in a puff.

I going into my drawers and put on black leggings, a necklace with the word "hope" on it, and a sad society black sweatshirt. I put on my sneakers and tie them. I look in the mirror and look at myself for a while. This is the person I've become. I can't change it.

"Thanks to them this how things go down," I look at my wrist and sigh. I put my hood over my head and walked to the bridge. I bump into someone, "Hey mar," I look up and turn around and see Jay. "Hi." "What're you doing here," "Just came to enjoy the view," I lie.

"Oh, I'll catch you around-" "No." "How come?" "I don't want the last thing for you to tell me is a lie." I put the hood back over my head and walk off, hearing footsteps behide me and Jay shouting my name. I stare out and observe the ocean and the sounds of the waves.

I crawl over the railing. "Marianna! Don't please!" I heard Jay say, I could hear the sadness in his voice."I'm sorry, I love you and I always have. Things just happend to end this was," Tears streamed down my face. "Marianna I love y-" I slip and hear screams.

I feel the wind pushing me harder as I get closer. "I'm sorry.." then water filled my ears and everything went black...

That was two weeks ago. I wake up in a cold room and a hard bed. Another sucide attempt, great.
--
I wake up the next day, do my daily hygiene routine, grey sweatpants, a tank top, a grey hoodie and slides. I leave my hair down and put the hood over my head and walk to school and go to my class. I open the door nob and walk in, closing it behide me.

I could feel the stares and hear whispers. I sit in the back and take out my notebook and pen then start scribbling in it. "Alright class, I'm taking attendence." The teacher says.

"Marianna," the teacher calls and the classroom gets quiet. "Here." I don't look up.
"That's the girl that jumped off the golden gate bridge?" I hear someone say and I blink tears. Yeah, I'm Marianna Clay, the girl that jumped off a bridge because she wanted to end her pain. "I have a fucking name."

"Oh my! The freak talks!" I hear Jackson say and the classroom was filled with laughter. "Silence!" The teacher yells and the classroom that was filled with laughter slowly died down.

I plug my headphones in and continue to draw as the teacher gives out instructions.
"Mrs. Clay? Headphones," I take them out. "As I was saying, Jackson and Mya, Bambam and Oli," the teacher continues to list partners. I stay quiet, a lot of times when we have group things. I work by myself because no one liked to work with me.

And if they did it'd be me doing the work and giving both of us an A. "Mark and Marianna," the classroom laughs. "Be careful, she bites," Jackson laughs. I feel someone walk past me and sit next to me.

"Hi," Mark says and I stay silent. "Mariannaaaaa," He drags the a. I wipe the tears off my cheeks and look at him. "Don't listen to them, their nice, I swear." "Mhm, yeah, okay. Anywho, I'll do all the work and turn it in. There, easy a. Now stop talking to me."

I go back and start drawing in my notebook, "You know that's not how things work right?" "I didn't for twenty other dumb fucks so why can't I do it for you? You laugh at their jokes, your apart of the whispering, your a bystander, and so why don't you just cut the crap." "Mar-" "The bell rings and I grab my stuff and walk out.