Dear Agony

Chapter 2: Undone

With a blurred vision and a dull yet constant ringing in her ear, Natasha slowly became conscious as she tried to comprehend where she was. Sirens and gunfire blared in the distance, and as she tried to catch her breath she inhaled the smoke from the burning building close by. Her chest felt heavy and tight, and with every inhale a burning pain ran through her. Surrounded by what felt like rubble from the building that had just blown, Natasha felt as if the world was spinning around her as she tried to stay awake through the delusion caused by blood loss. Her bloodshot emerald green eyes watered as she clenched her jaw, because every movement she made sent shooting agonizing pain through her petite body.

  Even with a near fatal amount of blood loss, Natasha was starting to comprehend her surroundings and realized she was miraculously still alive. She had no idea where she was, or how she got here, because the last thing she remembered was being shot as the Hydra reinforcements surrounded her and Clint. Now as she tried to get her bearings, but all she could see was dark smoke mixed with a blood red sky as the clouds reflected the flames of the burning building. All she could smell was metal, smoke, fire, blood, and gunpowder, and all she could hear was the droning ring in her ears.

  As her vision cleared enough, she noticed she was on top of Clint's chest, and that he laid on the ground that was littered with debris and rubble of the blown building. Confusion filled her as she tried to make sense of why they were no longer in the building, but the pain was enough to make her ignore this confusion for now. As she tried to get up she could feel her body aching, crying out for the pain to stop. Submitting to this pain, she laid there for a moment, closing her eyes and trying to drive away the weakness that was slowly striping away her strength. She wanted to scream, yet didn't have the energy to, so she simply closed her eyes, clenched her jaw, and buried her bruised and bloodied head into Clint's shoulder.

She had figured he was the one to get them out of the building, but had passed out shortly after he got them out. As she laid there the gunshot wound in her side began to open up, and as she bled more her whole body began to tremble violently. Even through all this, she could tell something wasn't right. While her head was buried right into Clint's shoulder, he didn't flinch or move, despite having a wound near his shoulder blade. His chest, which should have been gasping for breath, was motionless. This was when she realized, he wasn't breathing. Jerking up in alert, by instinct the young assassin reached for his hand, but it took almost all her strength to lift the weight of his lifeless arm. It all started to come at her, each realization hitting her like a bullet as she held his still hand tighter. Finally, as if desperate, Natasha dared to turn her head, her eyes wide with fear, as she placed her right ear on his chest.

While her ears rang from the force of the explosion, she knew she would have been able to hear his heartbeat, even if it was the most faintest noise, she would have heard it. But, she heard nothing more than the ringing in her ear and silence that came with his still heart.

Natasha didn't know it, but she was slowly going into shock. Her breath grew quick and her skin turned pale. Through this she mustered all the strength she had to get off his chest, as she felt her form slide onto the cold and bloodied ground. She placed a hand lightly on his chest, desperate to find any sign of life, but there was nothing but a looming stillness.

She held his hand, never letting go nor lessening the strength she applied to her hold. His hand was like a weight in her small palm, and blood stained the silver ring on his finger. Everything she saw was slowly growing intense and overwhelming, with every haunting detail sinking into her memory. The crimson blood suddenly looked bright red, and the smoke seemed to turn the air pitch black. Through these delusions and hallucinations, she gripped his shoulder as hard as she could, shaking it firmly, determined to snap him out of his unresponsive status. He remained still, and every attempt she made to wake him was in vain. She knew what had happened, why Clint was not breathing and unresponsive, but she refused to put two and two together. She refused to even think that could have happened to the man who had always been there for her, to the only person who mattered in her life.