I've decided that I'll never come to terms with all of this
All of this shit.
It's stuck. The more time passes the more I realized I was always in the dark.
I could not fathom the truth so I lied. I lied to myself. I lied to those around me.
I painted myself the grey picture, the plain black and white truth was not good enough for me. I could not let you know that I did not have control.
I hate that I still have my own sense of self. My mind is still owned by everyone except for the rightful owner. You never leave my fucking head.
Everyone's words are stuck in my fucking head. Your actions are stuck in there.
Why the fuck did you do that?
I've been leading myself deeper into the tunnel. The others who surround me have more control of their own being. That's why I would never win.
I've sat here so long waiting for your approval.
I had it.
I don't want it.
