Sunflower BWS {Bradley Will Simpson}

three

As I started to feel myself calming down Brad, still sitting on the floor with me pulled me into his chest. "We'll be on the ground soon" he rocked us back and forth.

Minutes later we were back on the ground. Brad helped me to stand up and held onto my waist as we walked out. "You okay?" he asked as we were back on the ground. "Yeah" I nodded. "I'm sorry I ruined it" I apologised. "Sof you didn't ruin it. Your safety means more to me than going on something I've been on hundreds of times" he expalined. "C'mon lets get you something to eat yeah"

Brad and I went into McDonalds that was next to the london Eye. Upstairs there was an arcade. After McDonalds we walked up to the arcade and walked up to a dance machine.

Brad and I started dancing against each other to Sugar by Maroon 5. I was winning. After our dancing we played air hockey and Brad won me a spider-man plush toy. I was so happy.

We wandered through London for the day. Talking and catching up. We then walked through Hyde Park. "Heard anything from Will after the other night?" he asked

"Nothing. I really don't want to hear from him for the rest of my life" I laughed. "I'm sorry that you two broke up" he shrugged. "Hey don't be. He wasn't nice to me" I replied. "You know that when I left I hated myself for ages for leaving you, vulnerable. When my Mum called me the day you went into hospital I cried for hours and tried to ask Joe to let me go see you but he wouldn't. I hated myself because I couldn't be there and I was so scared that I would lose you because I didn't want to lose my bestfriend" he confessed.

"You know, that day I wrote a letter. A suicide letter and the only name I mentioned in it was you, thanking you for being there for me through everything" I informed him.

I reached into my bag and handed him the old crumpled up piece of paper.

Brad found a bench and sat down. He unfolded the paper and begun to read it

"Whoever is reading this, I wanted you to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being strong, I'm sorry for not being the person you all wanted me to be. I can't live this life anymore. I can't be this 'perfect' person when my walls are caving in.

Bradley, I wanted to thank you for being the light in my life for so long. Being the only person who could fix me, who was there for me when I needed someone. You have been my muse and my protector and I will forever be grateful to you for that. I'm sorry that I shouted at you, I know you want to live your dream. I'm sorry I couldn't be the best friend you wanted me to be and I'm sorry I let you down. Just know that you were never the reason for me doing this, you were the reason why I wouldn't want to do this. You will always be my anchor, someone who pulls me back when I feel like I'm drowning.

I'm sorry that I can't be there to watch you live your dream, but I promise that I will always watch over you and guide you and protect you. I'm sorry that I can't be here anymore. Just know that there are so many reasons why I have to do this. I know you'll miss me and I know one day that you'll understand. Just know that this isn't goodbye it's a see you soon.

I'm sorry.

Love,

Sof"

Brad looked up at me, with tears in his eyes. I knew reading that broke him. It broke him to see how broken I was. That I wanted to end it all.

Brad stood up and walked over to me. He folded the paper up and put it in his pocket before looking in my eyes. "Never feel like you can't talk to me. You always have me Sof. no matter where I am in the world, I will always make time for you. You're too special not to be in this world" he expalined. Brad took my hand and looked at my wrists, he saw all the old scars and a tear fell down his cheeks. "I hate myself for not being there for you the last four years"