I Am Here

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I stand to make you proud. Even though you aren't here right now. I carry on in the hope that you would be happy. Even though you never cared. I have tried and tried again and again to show you that I AM good enough. That I am not the disappointment that you for some reason seem to think Iam. That I actually might be able to do something with the life you gave me. You gave me this life mum but sometimes, sometimes I think that you are going to be the reason it gets taken away. You make me feel like I am on the brink of self-destruction. Of just snapping. Like clicking my fingers, and I could break. I could lash out. And I try. I try so hard to stop myself and hold myself back from hurting others the way you hurt me. That is what happens when people lash out. Right, mum? Stop trying to make me perfect mum! Stop ignoring me! I am your child mum. Stop trying to change me because you can't see what I am and instead OPEN YOUR BLOODY EYES! OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE ME MUM! I AM NOT INVISIBLE! I AM NOT A GHOST! I am not a figment of your imagination that you can push away mum. I am a person. I am alive. I am real. I will not leave. Yet. You are pushing me away. And someday mum. Someday, you might not be able to reach me anymore.

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⏰ Last updated: Sep 15, 2018 ⏰

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