To The Boy Who Was Once Mine

A Letter To Him

To the boy who was once mine,

There was a day where you made me the happiest person in the world. I can recall being so naive and dumb. My line of sight never strayed past you. What would I do to still be that girl again? Time passes, seasons change, and people leave- you left. I am not the girl I once was and I guess you aren't the same either. You'll never look at me as you once did. You'll never love me again- not like how you will learn to love her. But I guess I love you, I never stopped.

Sometimes love was never meant to last, at least not after it was supposed to end. So I'll keep quiet, I'll express my love in poems and letters that you'll never read. Knowing that your eyes will never touch softly written words dedicated to you comforts me, yet I'm filled with unease that you will never know the depth of feelings you cause me.

You'll never see me as the person who creates worlds in your name. I'll always be small in your eyes, demoted as a time that is not favorable to us, to me, passes. You used to make me feel brand new and shiny. I can't explain it but when I looked at you I was as light as air and shined like silver. You made me feel like sunlight.

Now I feel as if I'm lighter than air, so light I could be nothing yet all my emotions weigh down on me. My mind runs so deep that I could drown in thoughts of you and choke on the memories that haunt me. I'll second guess every action. I relive every moment and wonder which one had caused you to no longer love me.

Why do you not love me anymore? What did I ever do to make you realize that it won't be me? I'll never soothe the loneliness that aches in your soul. I'll never be the promise of forever yet I would still climb mountains and swim across oceans to prove my love for you.

Maybe one-day things won't have to hurt so bad. Either you'll love me again or I won't acknowledge you anymore. I could learn to fill in the blanks with any boy who will never tire of me. Yet when I think of the future, when I think of love, your face flashes underneath my eyelids. Invisible wounds rip open and the pain sears. You'll never love me again.

But oh how I wish you would.

With a love that is unrequited,
A girl who's heart you hold.