Bruises

10: a fear

"Do you want to go out tonight?" Ayden was on the other end of the phone; his voice was deep, but smooth, almost like silk. I could listen to his voice for hours and not get tired of the way he talks.

"Sure," I respond back. He was quiet for awhile, until he finally talked once more, telling me to meet him at the park right by the ice cream shop. As soon as we hung up I quickly changed into something a bit more comfortable and something that wouldn't have the boy's touch still lingering on it. I went with some yoga pants, a jog bra, and a baggy sweatshirt. My hair was still flopped over in a messy bun, tangled and wisps of hair dancing all over.

I was over at the park in about 10 minutes on foot. I took advantage of being able to shake off the buzzing feeling in my legs, being able to clear my head a little bit. I soon saw Ayden in my sight, standing under a tall, wide tree. I watched how his blond hair got tousled in the wind, baby blue eyes staring off to nowhere, hands stuffed in his hoodie pocket.

I smiled when he turned my way and grinned. Quickly he took me in his arms, head buried in my hair. He smelled of honey and vanilla and the warmth that radiated off of him. I smiled into his chest, feeling his hands gently caress the small of my back.

"I'm really sorry about today," he gulped, "I um just kind of had stressful night or whatever," he pulled away from our embrace to stare down at the ground, holding my hands in his.

"It's okay," I sigh, "but you know you can talk to me right?" I look up into his sky like eyes.

"Yeah," he whispers, "yeah of course." For the longest second we just kind of stand there, listening to our breathing, the wind whistling and crackling, the trees humming, the earth breathing all on it's own. And I swear in that moment I can feel the earth spin, the stars twinkle, the clouds soar.

"Anyways," he clears his throat, "we should play a game."

"A game?" I furrow my eyebrows.

"Yeah," he says, "something like basketball truth or dare. If you shoot it and make it, you get to give me a truth or dare. But if you miss it, I get to give you a truth or dare."

"Okay," I laugh. I race over to get a stray ball laying in the grass, feeling the rough leather beneath my skin, the bumps and curves and the ridges. I back up all the way to the free throw line, Ayden watching me with this sly smirk on his face. As soon as I throw it up in the air, Ayden jumps up for the ball and slams it to the ground.

"That is so not fair!" I squeal, pushing him and smacking his arm shaking with laughter. "You're not allowed to do that!"

"I didn't say there were any rules!" he laughs, grabbing the ball and tossing it in the air. "You didn't make the shot...so truth or dare?"

"Dare," I smile. He smiles back, looking around the whole park.

"I dare you," he bits his lip, "to a race," he places the ball back snuggly in the grass. He wiggles his brows playfully.

"A race?" I scoff, "Ayden, obviously I am going to win," I giggle as he rolls his eyes, walking me over towards a large, hovering oak tree, roots dancing outward from the base.

"Finish line is at the bench," he says, "Ready...,"

"Set...," I add.

"GO!" we race forward, his face flushed with immediate concentration. The park bench is about 100 meters away, and we've already covered 50. I feel my legs pound on the grass, my lungs scrambling for air, messy bun flopping around helplessly. And as soon as we come to the bench I fly forward, beating Ayden by two strides. He finishes, tumbling into the grass as I dance around in victory, shaking my hips and laughing as Ayden watches.

"Cheater," he laughs.

"Nuh uh!" I brag, "I won and you LOST!" I joke, giggling and watching a smirk pull across his face. I pull him up from the ground and we head back to the basketball court, breathing heavier, until finally Ayden is up at the free point line, ball in his hands. The ball shoots upward, racing around the rim before popping out.

"Dammit!" he laughs, "I pick truth."

"Okay," I think, searching my brain for any questions. We sat next to each other on the court, kids clearing the playground and the park eventually just leaving us two crouching down on the basketball court. "What is your biggest fear?"

I watch him scrunch up his face in thought, a million words probably racing through his mind right now. Yet only two words pop out of his mouth.

"Breaking apart," he whispers.

"Breaking apart...?" I ask. He nods.

"Yeah. Like I have this fear that one day everything and like everything is going to fall apart. My family is going to shatter, my friends and I are going to just split, and that I'm going to loose all the people that I care about," he murmurs, messing with his hands, "and not only will I loose others, but I'll loose myself."

We sit there in silence, my mouth left parted open.

"You know that is probably never going to happen right?" I tell him. He shakes his head, but I go on, "Ayden you are so loved and so many people care about you-,"

"But Winter you don't know that," he deadpans and flattens his palms against the concrete.

"But I do," I squeak.

"But Smith, you don't know what goes on at home. You don't know what truly goes on," he said this gently, grabbing a loose strand of hair and twisting it in his fingers.

"Sorry," I murmur, biting my lip. After that we ended up watching the sky fade into a deep purple, his hand lying across mine. We asked each other questions and answered them, listening to the silence and the occasional chorus of crickets and everything in between.

---

Ayden walked me home that night, making sure that I was able to get in and everything. Before I unlocked the door and stepped inside and I pecked him lightly on the cheek, hugged him once more then said goodbye. My father was passed out on the wood floor right in front of the stairs. I was able to rest his head on a pillow and throw a blanket on top of him and kiss his bruised forehead goodnight. He didn't wake up at all.

Eventually I found my way into my bed, soft blanket wrapped around me, a pounding in my head.

That was the night I realized that people have a lot more trapped inside them then they should.

A/N

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